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What is The Fig Newton?
Someone who has hippie tendencies and beliefs. Often referred to as, granola, tree hugger, earth warrior, or all natural
That stanky hoe is so fig newton, she needs a bath.
The Fig Newton - video
The Fig Newton - what is it?
Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!
What does "The Fig Newton" mean?
A mediocre guy either in looks, personality, or both. And although he is average in every way, he thinks he is basically Ryan Reynolds.
While they may stay fig newtons forever it is possible for them to transform into something…like an Oreo…..or even a chocolate chip cookie.
While they are rare, fig newtons can also be female.
Examples: Jeff and Lester from the TV show Chuck
Dwight from the office.
Frollo from Hunchback of Norte Dame
Farquad from Shrek
Prince Charming from Shrek 2
Hans from Frozen
J’son (Starlord’s ‘Dad’) from Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice (honorable mention Mr. Wickham)
Yeah, we talked a bit. But, he was a bit of a fig Newton so I’m not interested.
Oh, nah! He a fig newton.
He got that fig newton haircut.
He talks like a fig newton.
He was the figgiest of newtons.
The Fig Newton - what does it mean?
the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth
I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons
The Fig Newton - meaning
The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?
-Ya mom! What's there to eat?
-Fig Newtons
-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
The Fig Newton - definition
as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"
I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.
The Fig Newton - slang
A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.
Dude you're such a Fig Newton!
The Fig Newton
The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
The Fig Newton
Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"
The Fig Newton
Dancing The Fig Newton or doing the Fig Newton refers to the "dance" one does when going through drug withdrawal, namely heroin, or oher opiates. The "dance" is usually done in a bed, with the covers tightly pulled over ones head, and usually includes leg kicking movements, rolling around in bed, and the constant sitting up and lying down again that comes with the uncomfortability of heroin withdrawal. The Fig Newton is traditionally danced in a pool of one's own sweat, and is usually accompanied by the traditional soundtrack of constant moaning, and occasional soft cries and/or whimpers.
I know I haven't seen you guys in a while, but I've been trying to quit this shit, and I spent the last 4 days doing the fig newton in my fucking room.