|
|
What is Calculus?
A branch of mathematics that is only useful for people trying to enter into certain fields of work, for the rest, it's completely useless. Sadly, universities in the United States require people in fields that have nothing to do with math to take this class in order to graduate, thus lowering there gpa, and making them seem less qualified as a result of a poor mark in a class that has nothing to do with their future career.
Dick: Ahhhh, so stressed!!!
Jane: whats wrong?
Dick: Ah nothing, just gotta a lot of calculus homework
Jane: Why are you taking calculus, aren't you trying to become a physical therapist?
Dick: Ya I am, but I have to take calculus in order to graduate.
Jane: Wow, that makes no sense
Calculus - meme gif
Calculus - video
Calculus - what is it?
Calculus is a cruel and hard mistress. No one wants to do her because no one CAN do her. Except Chuck Norris. He can do her. Calculus is easy for him.
"Dude, did you do your calculus homework last night?"
"... We didn't have homework?"
"Chuck tester."
What does "Calculus" mean?
The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"
Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"
Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"
Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"
Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."
Mother: *Facepalms*
Calculus - what does it mean?
A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.
1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"
2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."
1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"
2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."
1: "Brilliant!"
Calculus - meaning
Calculus is for anyone who ever complained that math isn't useful for anything. Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with problems involving changing rates. It has universal applications, finding its way into physics, engineering, medicine, economics, and anything that involves something changing. Calculus commands a great deal of notoreity from students learning it. But, like any form of mathematics, it is all pure logic, and if you understand it, it can be a very beautiful thing.
Newton and Leibniz both developed calculus on there own. Inventing calculus; now how fucking brilliant do you have to be to INVENT calculus? Pretty damn fucking brilliant.
Calculus - definition
"Hey, in our Calculus homework, why does the derivative of x^2 = 2x?"
"magic."
Calculus - slang
Calculus is a type of mathematics. It is very simple, once you learn this simple equation.
Learn Vocabulary+Read Problem+Set Up Problem+Magic=problem solved.
Joe: How'd you do on the Calculus exam?
Steve: It was easy, after I learned the simple equation that makes calculus a cinch.
Joe: Oh yeah, I really like how magic solves the problem
Calculus
This is the thing that puts all other maths to shame. It's do-able, just quite difficult.
I used to think math was easy. Then came calculus...
Calculus
legalized torture
The prisoners at Guantanamo Bay were subject to Calculus.
Subjecting people to Calculus should be considered a crime against humanity.
Calculus
Sorcery devised by Isaac Newton, one of the most prestigious and powerful sorcerers in the world.
The degree of a Calculus major higher than a Ph.D is a Doctorate of Sorcery (S.d)
When you need help in Calculus class you should look to your Sorcerer's Assistant for help.