Bret is awesome. Full stop. He turns bright red when you compliment him, tell a joke or make fun of him. It's really cute. People sometimes like to call him "Bert". He has glorious, red locks of hair that he uses to his advantage. If he had a spirit animal it would be Pikachu. Bert is kind, warm, dependable, funny, hard working and the kind of person you keep in your life for the long haul. He's good people.

Everyone wants a Bret/Bert in their lives.

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Bret's - slang

a creature who has questionable fashion choices, spills pasta on white shirts, and steps out of bathrooms with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their shoe. they are an alien, do not be fooled.

girl 1: hey look at that thing wearing swim goggles and holding an onion. she's totally a bret.
girl 2: omg did you see her step out of the c-wing bathroom? she had toilet paper on her foot!! for sure a bret

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Bret's

A Wonderful best friend.

Usually characterized by being sensitive and caring, and not ashamed of it. Brets are normally good listeners, very trusting, quick to forgiveness, and have strong morals. Brets are hilarious, and one someone can talk to and laugh with for hours on end. Brets are hardworking, love music, and fun to be around. Anyone who knows a Bret is blessed for life.

"Wow, what a super, amazing guy. He must be a Bret."

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Bret's

How real hoodlums say the word "bro" in Spartanburg SC.

"Ay bret, South Carolina boring as shit"

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Bret's

When you shart, piss, and puke a little at the same time.

Dude, did you just brett?

Im getting so fucked up I am bretting tonight.

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