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What is the Emoji Movie?
Now I'm not a scientist or anything but my theory for 2017 Hollywood's "The Emoji Movie" is most likely the #1 reason the suicide percent has gone up drastically in the past year. I mean HELL! In Florida since 2016 the suicide rates went up to over a staggering 14.2!
The Emoji Movie Review:
"I don't know why I feel like shit. They say I'm fine but I'm not fine. I'm dying inside, and all I see are demons!"
-Pink Guy 'Help'
the Emoji Movie - video
The Emoji Movie - what is it?
The cringiest thing in the world. I mean, I knew that Hollywood was running out of ideas, but this is a new low.
Congratulations Hollywood, you've sunk rock bottom on ideas for kids to watch. Emojis are now ruined forever.
Did I mention that it has a 9% critics rating and a 40% audience approval?
Wow this is movie is hell cramped in a room don't waste your time watching it
you: ok we're watching a movie what do you want to watch
little sibling: the emoji movie!
you: >:O NO THAT IS TOTAL CRAP ANYTHING BUT THAT
little sibling: :\
What does "the Emoji Movie" mean?
Kid: Mommy, can we watch the Emoji Movie?
Mother: Hell no son, that movie is Cancer your grounded for the next 5 years.
Kid: Spends the rest of his life alone with no friends because he wanted to see the Emoji Movie.
The Emoji Movie - what does it mean?
1. The biggest disgrace that has ever plagued the himan race
2. An obvious sign of the drastic decrease in intelligence in the human race and a strong reminder that the apocalypse is upon us.
White Girl: I'm going to see the emoji movie when it comes out!!
Me: *packing up end-of-the-world survival gear* oh sorry gotta run!!!!!!!!!
The Emoji Movie - meaning
Picture this: You have finally perished; Your organs have all been removed and sorted in front of you in alphabetical order, as your vision fades to black, you start to feel free and all senses stop; there is nothing, you are nowhere, you are no one. Suddenly you are abruptly awakened from your lack of existence, and even though all of your senses are gone, you know, you see and you feel bright colourful lights. The beams of light sear through you, all senses return, but the only thing you feel is pain. Pain immeasurable beyond belief and your retinas are burned by something. As you relive all of the pain from your existence, you see in front of you Sony Product Placement There they are, right in front of you, grinning their awkward gaping mouths in amusement of your suffering; advertisements for mobile apps are shoved down your throat. You beg for the suffering to end, you try to flee and end up running in the same direction of the plot. Candy crush catches you unawares in your desperate to escape the endless torture and it smites you down with the power of several major corporations. Then there is noise. there will never be peace for you here. The twitter bird lifts you above all the madness in its talons; you see the end, you reach, but the talons are released and you fall. Your empty, meaningless and cold shell of a being is crushed upon the ground and all fades to black once more. You awake, Goofy is comparing your pharynx and your larynx, you smile, you feel revealed.
Goofy: hyuck, hyuck, (sharpens knife)
Person who watched the emoji movie: This makes me feel better than watching the emoji movie.
The Emoji Movie - definition
the epitome of the disgusting pile of garbage Hollywood has become.
The Emoji Movie is the reason I can't have nice things.
The Emoji Movie - slang
Only the most cancerous film ever to be created. literally has a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. Like, seriously Sony. Why would you make this?
Person 1: Hey, do you wanna go see The Emoji Movie?
Person 2: (grabs revolver) Whoever kills themselves last will have to buy the tickets.
The Emoji Movie
If you, by some miracle, are actually thinking of watching this school shooting of a "movie," please dial the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-555-9999. Watching it is, to say the least, an incredibly painful way to fucking die. And to those of you who have watched it, I wish you'd known how much you'd be missed before then.
The Emoji Movie makes the Holocaust look fucking hilarious.
The Emoji Movie
Child: Can I go see The Emoji Movie mom?
Mother: No son. That movie is cancer.
The Emoji Movie
An 86 minute long commercial
Halfway through the movie:
Person 1: When is the Emoji Movie gonna start?
Person 2: Wdym. This is the movie!