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What is goldilocksing?
When a friend, relative, significant other, coworker or acquaintance is incapable of scheduling or confirming plans too far in advance bc they're not quite sure how they'll feel mentally, emotionally and physically that particular day, and for that particular event. Respectively, they also refuse plans conceived the day of said event, bc it's too short notice and they don't have time to prepare.
The only reasonable solution is to invite them at precisely the right time, neither too early, nor too close to the event, but just the right time. One can equate this type of conduct to the uniquely unsettling children's fable Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
So, Goldilocks breaks into the bears cottage. The unsuspecting bears (Mama, Papa and baby) have left unexplained. Although it's not discussed, obviously the bears left bc of an emergency bc the 3 bowls of porridge were still full and Papa bear's pipping hot. After legit breaking and entering the bears cottage, Ms. Locks sits down at the table and precedes to help herself to the uneaten porridge, eagerly sampling each bowl until deciding baby bears was just right, leading her to greedily scarf it down.
This unconventional outlook they have, parralleling Goldilockses' esoteric precision but not quite mirroring her inherently pretentious behavior regarding her privilege and budding audacity, explains why Goldilocksism is quickly growing in popularity.
Molly's severe Goldilocksism prevents her from being constantly invited to Gary's multiple BBQ, birthday and insignificant holiday parties he inconviently throws throughout the year.
goldilocksing - video
Goldilocksing - what is it?
To perform oral sex on a lady who has had a man ejaculate inside her recently. To eat someone else's porridge
Ken: I went down on Betty earlier...
Trevor: oh really? How was it?
Ken: weird. There was someone else's load in there. I really goldilocksed Bettys hole.
What does "goldilocksing" mean?
The art of sleeping in someone else’s bed until you get kicked out.
Jack totally just goldilocksed in IKEA for an hour before getting kicked out by security.
"Are you driving home after the party?" "Nah, I'm planning on Goldilocksing in Heath's bed"
Goldilocksing - what does it mean?
Trying out many of any type of thing in order to find the most suitable one. Especially dick.
She ran through those dudes like goldilocksing was her hobby before she found her perfect penis.
Goldilocksing - meaning
To try out multiple items before choosing one; different from "window-shopping" in that one must actually use/try the items in question before making a choice.
I needed a new desk, so I spent the day goldilocksing in furniture stores until I found the perfect one.
Goldilocksing - definition
Using someone else's bed during or after a party without their permission.
Gina was goldilocksed when she found other people in her bed during a party.
Goldilocksing - slang
v. To do something several times, alternating between opposite extremes, taking forever to hit the optimal solution.
The words is taken from the childrens fairytale: Goldilocks and the three bears, written by the brothers Grimm.
Also see goldilocks, goldilocks (v), goldilocksing
"Marci was totally Goldilocksing with the printer paper. First she jammed the printer because there wasn't enough paper in the printer drawer, then she put so much paper in that it jammed again!"
Goldilocksing
When people walk into a bar or restaurant and sit at every table before finally choosing one
Taken from the children's fairytale Goldilocks & The 3 Bears
- "Dude, you got a new table at 103"
- "Ya I see them, but they've been GOLDILOCKSING the fuck out of me, that's the 4th table they've sat in........ see there they go again!
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This seat's too chilly
This seat's too loud
This seat doesn't have a window
This seat is juuuuuuust right!