|
|||||
What is Xenu?Xenu was a benevolent ruler, with only the best interests of the Galactic Confederacy in mind. Seventy-five million years ago, the Confederacy was in an awful state of affairs. Gross overpopulation threatened to destroy the already fragile ecosystems and economies of many planets in the Galactic Confederacy, and Xenu knew that he had to do something. He could stand idly by and watch the planets destroy themselves, or he could take action. Thankfully, our Dark Lord knew what he had to do. Hail Xenu!!! Xenu - meme gifXenu - videoXenu - what is it?The evil galactic overlord that stupid, stupid, gullible people known as "scientologists" believe to have wiped out billions of aliens on Earth 75 million years ago. Then Xenu collected their souls, known as 'Thetans', subjected them to brainwashing (how ironic) before releasing them back into the world, where they possessed our bodies and caused all of our problems. "Check check check it holmes, I'm gunna pimp-slap Lord Xenu an' his Thetans by givin' mah life's savings to some crooks, aiiiiiight! That shit be TIGHT!!! Then I'm going to live in a cardboard box under a bridge." What does "Xenu" mean?A Scientologist deity - an intergalactic tyrant trapped in an everlasting force-field - and an excellent imaginary scapegoat. Scientologists blame him for all our problems, and you should too. Teacher: Jimmy, you failed your math test. Xenu - what does it mean?When you display a large forehead / Get a haircut which emphasises how large you're forehead is. Person 1: "Nice haircut." Xenu - meaningTom Cruise awakens in 2185 aboard a Scientology space station that is under attack. After Tom Cruise aids the Scientology space station, Tom Cruise is granted an audience with L.Ron Hubbard, who explains that Tom Cruise was revived and 'upgraded' in return for his aid combating a new threat. Human colonies have been attacked, and their colonists have gone missing. L.Ron Hubbard believes this is the work of Tom Cruise's old enemy, Xenu, an Evil Space-Lord that periodically harvests the galaxy once galactic civilization reaches a certain point. Tom Cruise and his team investigate a recently attacked colony and discover that the mysterious insect-like Collectors were behind the attack and are responsible for abductions at other human colonies. L.Ron Hubbard places Tom Cruise in command of the DC-8 SR-2, modeled after the original. With L.Ron Hubbard's guidance, Tom Cruise recruits a team for what is assumed to be a suicide mission. After traveling through the Omega-4 relay, Tom Cruise fights his way to the core of the Collector space station and discovers the Collectors have been constructing a new Space-Lord, made from the genetic material of the abducted humans and fused with the advanced technology of the Evil Space-Lord Xenu. EDI suggests this is how all Space-Lords reproduce. Tom Cruise targets the weak points of the machine, which is in the early stages of construction, and it collapses. Xenu - definitionWhen one has gotten so high they enter this realm. 1. Dude Iβm so high Iβm on Xenu. Xenu - slang$cientologists' version of god, he made his prisoners watch movies, sort of an intergalactic MST3K, which are now the world's religions. Then he nuked the world 95,000,000 years ago. (Source: Operating Thetan-III, the part of their religion $cientologists don't want you to read.) XenuScientology alien ruler who Tom Cruise wants to fuck in the behind Scientology gay: Dude, my mom died while reading Thetan 3 about Xenu XenuThe evil galactic overlord who nuked our souls 95,000,000 years ago on Hawaii - Scientologist's version of god. Xenu implanted 700 body thetans in me; I need to spend ten grand to audit them out! XenuXenu is the one that $cient0l0gists fear and hate most. They claim that he is the cause of everything bad in the world because he nuked a bunch of people in an Earth volcano, then trapped the souls of everyone he nuked with sticky fly paper-like material, then made all the souls watch a 3D movie and finally released them back on to earth where they go around attaching themselves to humans causing them pain. $cient0l0gy makes their money by brain washing people into believing this crap and having themselves "audited" of these spirits which are called "thetans". $cient0l0gists also believe that eating asparagus will prevent thetans from infecting you. I am an agent of Xenu. |
|||||
www.Definder.net Powered by Urban Dictionary |