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What is Swine flu?
Like the Bird Flu, but with a pig.
Do you have the Bird Flu?
No niggah, I got the Swine Flu.
Swine flu - video
Swine flu - what is it?
A type of flu, that despite being around for decades and having periodic flare ups that kill relatively few people, is somehow the new supervirus that is going to destroy humanity.
The media's ability to blow this out of proportion rates somewhere between Y2K and WMD in Iraq.
The media has talked nonstop about swine flu for months despite it being less severe and less deadly than the seasonal flu.
Recommended treatment for swine flu: Sprite, chicken soup, and low dose Tylenol.
Jerry caught swine flu! He might not be back to work until Thursday!
You have a greater chance of dying in a car accident on your way to get your swine flu shot than of dying from swine flu.
What does "Swine flu" mean?
90 people die from Swine Flu and everyone wants to wear a mask. Millions of people die from AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom.
Swine flu is just like any other fucking flu. Get over yourselves.
Swine flu - what does it mean?
1. The media's half-baked idea to cause the world to enter a state of complete pandemonium as a result of a lack of natural disasters (e.g. Red River flooding) to increase viewership or readership.
2. The government's plot to seek an alternative route to curing our economical situation by creating unnecessary drama in the field of pandemics that will supposedly spark a large creation of jobs in the cleaning product industry, and a trillion dollar profit margin, thanks in part to our gullibility as humans.
3. The hysterical hockey/soccer moms' excuse for contributing to the closing down of schools across the country, while students come into contact with one another more often outside of school than in school. Don't tell me kids are more susceptible to dying or being harmed from the swine flu as opposed to choking on a hot dog, getting hit in the head with a baseball, or falling off of a trampoline.
4. A future Michael Moore documentary that will be renamed "Pandemic Pandemonium".
5. A pandemic that will surely result in the mass hatred, execution, and genocide of pigs throughout the world.
"Oh, dear, Bob, you're experiencing a severe case of hysteria. That's a symptom! You better get yourself checked in!"
"Oh my, Bob, you look awfully run down. Are you sure you're alright?" *presses hands to cheeks* "SWINE FLU! EVERYBODY RUN!"
"Bob! They're evacuating the country to Mexico! Everyone's fleeing! This is not a drill! THIS IS A PANDEMIC!" *tornado siren* "Should I tell him that's where it originated? Nah..."
Swine flu - meaning
It's just the fucking flu.
Idiot: WE'RE A DYIN! DA SWINE FLUUU IS GUNNA GET CHA
Me: Riiight :|
Swine flu - definition
A disease characterized by a high fever, a cough, and a strong desire to fuck in the mud.
Come over here baby, I've got the swine flu.
Swine flu - slang
Something blown far out of proportion by the media and the World Health Organization. It's just like the "normal" flu, excluding the fact that this swine flu does not currently have a vaccination.
The media fails to tell you that the only people who have died of this so-called "deadly" virus are:
1) Mexicans with terrible health care and terrible health in general who are living in close quarters.
2) Babies and old people
Note that anyone who has any remote knowledge on disease knows that these types of people die from the "normal" flu, and that the swine flu isn't some kind of deadly disease because it hasn't killed anyone that a normal sickness wouldn't have.
Also take note of the fact that hundreds of people have gotten sick in the United States alone, and yet all of these cases were called "mild". Know that all of these "mild" cases have occurred in adults and/or teenagers, who would not die from the "normal" flu.
What also is failed to be mentioned is the fact that a "Pandemic" is any disease that is spread worldwide. Thus, just because the swine flu is a pandemic doesn't mean we'll all die. The common cold is a pandemic, and no one goes around freaking out about that.
This is another phase in the "we're-all-gonna-die" angst in 50% of the human population. It'll pass by 2010.
It was once said that pigs will fly when we have a black President. Now we have the swine flu.
Swine flu
n. Pathology.
a highly contagious form of influenza caused by infection with a filterable virus first isolated from swine.
n. Probably not swine flu
"I think I have swine flu!"
"Chill the fuck out, no one cares."
Swine flu
A form of influenza spread by terrorists disguised as pigs.
Shit son, I got swine flu!
Swine flu
"Dude I think I got Swine Flu"