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What is Selleck?
A verb used to describe the comedic/defamatory drawing of a thick black moustache on the image of a clean shaven person.
Follows in the same tradition as Marcel Duchamp's L.H.O.O.Q.
'Some people call me a salesman. I call myself a "salesfront". So obviously I need strangers to trust me so I don't take kindly to it when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.'
- Modern Family Season 1 Episode 14 "Moon Landing"
Selleck - meme gif
Selleck - video
Selleck - what is it?
Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, the Velvet Selleck is when you've had sex with a menstruating female, then smear the bloody head of your member under her nose, giving her a thick, impressive blood mustache.
Bonus points: If you plug it in her back door, and get a little poo on it, for a richer, velvetier texture.
Bro, I was tapping this chick on the rag, and thought she was lookin' undignified. So, I flipped her around, and gave her the Velvet Selleck.
What does "Selleck" mean?
After a long night of drinking, a Slimy Selleck is the process of passing out on ones own toilet, and waking up with a neatly collected mustache made of pubes from the surrounding bathroom floor.
Man, I totally passed out last night baby faced, and woke up with a slimy Selleck.
Selleck - what does it mean?
Laying a juicy turd across someone's upper lip. A Tom Selleck can be given manually or if one is particularly accomplished, lay a Tom Selleck without the use of one's hands.
"When Jeff passed out, I squatted over his face and gave him a mean Tom Selleck." or "That guy gives one hell of a Tom Sellek."
Selleck - meaning
Is ones ability to ram their rod(deep throat, go balls deep) down their partners oral orafice while simultaneously placing their pubes on the upper lip of the receiver. This invasive procedure produces a beautiful mustache not unlike the most glorious one of all time held by the legendary Tom Selleck.
Just before I banged your mom I gave her the Tom Selleck and took a picture!
Selleck - definition
To have sex with a child that does not yet have pubic hair
Jesus walked in to the nursery school and sellecked the most beautiful child in the room.
Selleck - slang
When a woman makes a mustache of vaginal juices on a man's upper lip after she fingers herself.
Judy pleasured herself and then gave Scott the selleck.
Selleck
When an unshaven man gives a woman stubble burn after perfroming cunnilingus.
Joe needs to shave. He keeps giving me a Selleck, and it burns when I pee!
Selleck
A common euphemism for the "C-word". Used in polite company when the use of cunt is inappropriate.
"Oh no! I'm sorry Father O'Leary, it looks like we've run out of sausage rolls!"
"Nevermind my son, I think that fat old selleck ate them all."
Selleck
adjective.
1: laid back nice guy. easy to get along with.
2: a mustache that looks like actor Tom Selleck's mustache
"I love that guy, he's so Selleck."
"His mustache is sick. He is rocking a killer Selleck!"