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What is whalen?
Drummer of the band The Matches, originally from Oakland, CA. Constantly used as a punchline.
"Everything we do is inspired by Matt Whalen" - Shawn Harris, The Matches "Matt Whalen... Still Matt Whalen"
whalen - meme gif
whalen - video
Whalen - what is it?
Only for use with women who have abundant upper lip facial hair. After vigorous fellatio, pull out of the woman's mouth, deposit a "Got Milk?"-style mustache of semen from edge to edge of the mustache, and allow to dry. Once dry, and presumably, while still restraining said mustachioed female from cleaning her face off, violently rip the hair and encrusted love sauce from her upper lip, leaving skin as soft as a baby's bottom.
Waxer: "Dude, chick showed up last night with more facial hair than Tom Selleck. After dinner and drinks, I brought her back to the shag pad and treated her to a Whalen Wax. She says she's never paying salon prices again!"
Buddy: "Nice."
What does "whalen" mean?
Term used to describe how quick one is on something. Much like the term stink on shit or white on rice. Whalen on a penny refers to the cheapness of a Dick Smith named Jeff. If one were to let a penny fall from their hands it would never hit the ground in the presence of Jeff.
Boss: Hey Peter are you going to have those TPS reports for me by lunch?
Peter: Chill out Lumberg! I am on it like Whalen on a penny.
Whalen - what does it mean?
Mr. Whalen is an absolute Chad and is the god of Golf
Mr. Whalen could snap your neck with a can of Diet Coke if he wanted to.
Guy 1: ayy bruh I got uuuuuhhhhh... Mr. Whalen next block
Guy 2: *dies*
Whalen - meaning
The art of seducing those who are associated with the phrase "more cushion for the pushin".
Potential Whalers can be seen pacing the perimeters of Lane Bryant or any all you can eat buffet. Often frequents ice cream locations to find potential mates.
Symptoms include: fucking fat chicks, marking his territory in a canine fashion, desperation to end the drought, obsession with Queen Latifah.
Friend: Dude, he's totally pulling a Whalen tonight!
Fat chick: I hope there's a Whalen here tonight!
Whalen - definition
Did you see that whalen yesterday? She must of been atleast 400 lbs!
Whalen - slang
(V.) To cock block a friend at a social gathering, when that friend has a chance of getting it in
Jack: How was the Dance, kid?
Joe: "Dude, was grinding this bidd, when i got completely whalened by a drunk guy humping me."
Whalen
Mr. Steal your girl. Big big man, hits the weight room daily. Class clown but not scared of D1 linemen
Iām the big whalen
Whalen
someone who only does something if they will benefit from it. Someone who is so two-faced that you might even call them Tommy Lee Jones.
Frank: Did you hear about about that whalen guy?
Jerry: No. What did he do?
Frank: He lied to my face about something, tried to sleep with my ex-girlfriend, then acted like his fake self in order to benefit from a situation.
Jerry: Damn. I can't think of a better way to describe him than calling him a whalen.
Whalen
When a man poops onto a frozen dinner, microwaves it, and serves it to himself and another man.
I was famished after a hard day's work, but luckily, my friend served up a whalen and I was satisfied... hell yeah, I was satisfied...