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What is spontaneous combustion?
A rapidly growing phenomena where a guitar in a public place inexplicably ignites, destroying the instrument and often severely injuring the person holding it.
Most theorists agree that it is a karmic occurrence, brought about by the disruption of peace in the universe, by a growth in the crust punk trend, specifically in the American Midwest.
Guitars tend to explode at a high enough temperature to ignite dirty clothing and greasy hair, so it is typical for the person holding to guitar to catch fire as well. Not surprisingly, there has never been an incident recorded where someone has tried to extinguish a victim of SGC, though many have admitted to thanking God after witnessing the miracle.
Researchers have been trying to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between SGC and the Mayan prediction of the 2012 apocalypse. Nostradamus' prediction has already been connected when astronomers discovered a constellation depicting SCG, perfectly situated with the predicted alignment of the planets on the day of the Rapture.
The majority of recorded cases have occurred in coffee shops, to victims who have been described as crust punk, gutter punk, and hippy.
When the crust punk's strumming was brought to an overdue end by Spontaneous Guitar Combustion (SGC), the entire coffee shop applauded.
spontaneous combustion - video
Spontaneous combustion - what is it?
To let one rip
First coined on the hit show:south park
ex:
Man:Dude that was sick it smells like eggs...
Dude:Hey man just preventing spontaneous human combustion here...
What does "spontaneous combustion" mean?
it Is a gay fighting move used during sex
Gary: “yo did you just use spontaneous anal combustion on that kid yesterday”
Peng: “ yes, is there something wrong with that?”
Liam and mai: “yes that’s fucking gay”
Spontaneous combustion - what does it mean?
When a person, or Republican, randomly bursts into fire.
"Spontaneous Human Combustion can strike anyone, anytime, any--sic"
Spontaneous combustion - meaning
Spontaneous Self-Combustion is a more formal way of describing the act of spontaneously self-combusting. A more graphic description of Spontaneous Self-Combustion is where a flame inside the body bursts into a flaming outbreak, consuming the body and possibly the surrounding area.
The concept of Spontaneous Self-Combustion first appeared in writing in a Charles Dickens novel. Could the idea be linked with vampirism (burning in light), love (an internal flame of love) or smoking (accidentally inhaling/swallowing lighters, and/or fuel - don't try that at home, or anywhere for that matter)?
The practicality of Spontaneous Self-Combustion is questionable; can a human (mostly made of water) really spontaneously self-combust? Not that I am trying to taint the fun, or anything.
Spontaneous Self-Combustion is a fairly surreal concept to most, so fire-proof underclothing has not yet become necessary. Not yet.
As the person innocently wandered down the street, an internal flame grows into a rage and eats at the mortal remains. It was most unjustified!
Spontaneous combustion - definition
The occassion when a human being may spontaneously burst into flame with no external interference. Generally happnes to the aged. Most victims do not survive, and combust when alone. Therefore, there are not many witnessess to spontaneous human combustion, or S.H.C.
However, there have been people who have suffered S.H.C and survived, albiet for only a short while afterwards.
S.H.C does not tend to leave much in the way of bodily remains; most victims leave just the lower leg, a singed hole in the floor, and a pile of greasy ash.
Reasons for this are still only theories, but the extreme heat required to reduce a human body to ash in the space of minutes is intense, and the flames act unaturaly.
In one such case, an elderly doctor spontaneously combusted whilst at home alone. When found, his kneecap and ashes where in the basement, and his foot and slipper left on the lip of the hole on the floor above. His aluminium walker, that should by all means be a puddle of molten metal, was fully intact, including the rubber tips.
S.H.C is not a proven phenomena, and is not a recognized cause of death.
The old doctor apparently died when he spontaneously combusted. Many blamed the phenomena, spontaneous human combustion for his unnatural death.
Spontaneous combustion - slang
Usually said after relaying a chain of events to make them sound more interesting.
"Then I went to the computer and logged onto Facebook, and I suddenly spontaneously self-combusted."
Spontaneous combustion
to suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into flames and within minutes become a human cinder. a.k.a. SHC
defoe was running so fast towards the opponents penalty area that he suddenly suffered an acute spontaneous human combustion
Spontaneous combustion
When you see a girl so hot, that you cant control your man parts, and you jizz in your pants unexpectedly
That girl walked past me and as i watched her walk away it made me spontaneous combust-a-nut!
The Stripper was grinding on me and before i knew it, spontaneous combust-a-nut
Spontaneous combustion
Getting really mad all of a sudden and doing something regrettable. AKA flying off the handle.
Sometimes I feel this urge for spontaneous combustion, but then I try to think to myself, "how will this fix the situation" and "what if I hurt someone, or do something very regrettable." I try to do something else instead, like take a walk or maybe play some basketball or play Halo.