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What is The Bible?
In the beginning the bountiful Lord created war. It is not known why God in his majesty did such a silly thing. He was grounded for a week. As if it wasn't bad enough he also had a baby with someone else's wife and it was naughty. Around this time God invented condoms but the Catholics confiscated them. They were strawberry flavoured as well. God was really sneaky and then invented femidoms, but no one used them because they looked silly. To make up for the condom incident God invented peace and also pizza. God then killed his son because he was stealing this thunger (literally). And then God had a new son with the angel Gabrielle and called it Chuck Norris.
THE END.
The Bible is always right.
The Bible - video
The Bible - what is it?
The most disputed collection of books in existence. Contain many life morals, Logic Flaws, and contradictions. WILL cause a heated argument with a zealous Christian if you even dare question so much as a word in it Often thumped by devout followers and used as an excuse to preform radical, and absurd acts. It's meanings are misinterpreted, and skewed by the Bible thumpers that "study it".
Bible Thumper: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED FOR YOUR SINS? NO? IT STATES IT IN THE BIBLE, WHICH IF YOU DON'T READ AND ACCEPT AS THE WORD OF GOD YOU WILL GO TO HELL! BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SAVED! JUST COME TO OUR CHURCH AND----
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
What does "The Bible" mean?
A completely ficticious piece of work.
They should put a textbook disclaimer sticker on the bible.
The Bible - what does it mean?
A book of fairy tales that religous fanatics use as an excuse to breed hate.
Gay marriage and drugs are amoral and therefore wrong according to The Bible so ill have my senator make them illegal. FUCK THIS BOOK!
The Bible - meaning
Another mediocre science fiction novel.
The Bible comes in handy when you have run out of
a.) Toilet paper
b.) Kindling
c.) Spitball ammunition
d.) Coffee filters
e.) Paper towels
f.) Diapers
g.) Maxi pads
h.) A surface from which to snort your cocaine
...Among other things.
The Bible - definition
An egotistical autobiography people put in the fiction section at times.
Church: "Did You Read The Bible"
Priest: "No"
Church: "Get The Hell Out Then"
The Bible - slang
A book of complete horse shit. It makes no fucking sense and explains nothing!
The Bible is a waste of time!
The Bible
A book used to control the masses with a false threat and reward system.
See: George W. Bush, mind control
Do what your told like the bible teaches.
The Bible
The most famous fantasy novel in human history.
The Bible isn't even that good, LOTR is a much better fantasy novel. The Bible is quite stupid and contradicts itself a lot. I think a retard wrote it.
The Bible
A book written by a bunch of hippies, about 2000 years ago, who were smoking some serious hash at the time. Never actually figured for their text to be taken seriously.
"Hey, Josh, dude, let's put some shit in their about a guy, right?"
"Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?"
"Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man."
"AWWWWH, far out man!"
"And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?"
"Chilled man."
"What should we call this book, yo?"
"How about, like, someting that sounds like Babel."
"Yeah, like the town."
"Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible!"
"Holy shit man!"