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What is SLAYER?
The darkest, heaviest, most brutal fucking thrash band to have ever struck the face of God's green earth with pure bruality. Capable of pounding out the most coolest, creepiest and most Satanic lyrics that don't actually oversaturate their image to a point of being laughable (see Deicide). Founded by Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman back in the early 80s, their influence upon the thrash movement is undisputed, with albums like "Reign in Blood" and "Seasons in the Abyss" ranking as the most influential and famous thrash albums in record history.
As far as this author's concerned, Metallica don't fucking deserve to be considered the backbone of thrash. Metallica sold out and changed, but Slayer never did. They didn't compromise their sound for fucking anybody, and to this date, they've remained sheer volume and pumelling riffs that totally kick the shit out of all but the heaviest of Death metal.
To date, their most recent album is "Christ Illusion"; another brutal masterpiece that illustrates how well they've stuck to their roots. "Catatonia" has a guitar solo that's to die for. Quite literally if you're ears are too weak to handle the overpowering bad-ass-itude of Slayer's music (and no, that wasn't a real word, so don't bother looking it up on UD).
Metalhead #1: "I went to a Slayer concert the other week."
Metalhead #2: "Shit man, you survive?"
Metalhead #1: "I lost three fingers in a mosh pit, sustained cranial brain damage from being kicked against the floor... loved every fucking minute of it."
Metalhead #2: "Hell yeah. You catch a guitar pick?"
Metalhead #1: "Yep, I'll strum with it after I get feeling back in my fingers."
SLAYER - meme gif
SLAYER - video
SLAYER - what is it?
A kick arse Thrash Metal band that blow whoever listens to it away, also made one of the greatest metal albums of all time.
Members include:
Tom Araya
Jeff Hanneman
Kerry King
Dave Lombardo.
Want to create a mother of all mosh pits? Put some Slayer on.
What does "SLAYER" mean?
Getting slayered. The crowd telling a band to get the fuck off the stage while chanting "slayer, slayer."
Murderdolls just got slayered.
SLAYER - what does it mean?
Only the greatest fucking band ever made. The best drums, guitar, and vocals. It could be slow or fast, but either way it's fucking crazy. Listen to Reign In Blood or War Ensemble if you want to start a fucking riot.
Q: Hey wanna listen to Slayer?
A: If we do, I'm gonna end up beating the shit out of you. But yeah.
SLAYER - meaning
Slayer (pronounced: SSSLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEERRRRRRGGGGGHHHHYHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) is a metal band that the words "Awesome, Fuck Yeah, and FUCKIN METAL" can't describe. The only words that can possibly describe Slayer are "The GODS THAT FUCKIN SMASH THEIR HEADS AGAINST A WALL UNTIL IT IS PAINED BLOOD AND THEN STARTS SCREAMIN' FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone not worthy of "The Metal" will listen to slayer and their face will melt, their head will explode and leave a blooied corpse, only for the bloodied corpse to explode and leave nothing, wiping out their very existence from the universe. Chuck Norris himself listened to Slayer and has now locked himself in his mom's closet, crying.
Me: What the fuck are you listening to?
Girl: I'm listening to Justin Bieber! Isn't he cute?
Me: No. Listen to Metallica.
Girl: (types Metallica into the Youtube search engine) Eh, not really my style. Oh wait, it says i might like slayer
Me: I wouldn't do that if i were you,.....
Girl: (clicks slayer)
(slayer begins to play Angel of Death, girl's head explodes and the remains explode as well, leaving not even a speck of blood. )
Me: oh, she should have listened to me.....\m/ SLAYER!!!!! (listens to the rest of song)
SLAYER - definition
Q: What time is it?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: Where should I put this?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: Why did you do that?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: How did you do that?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: How long is this gonna take?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: When are you coming home?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: Who did you vote for?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: What's your name?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: What's the square root of 5184?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: Where are you going?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: Hey what's up?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
Q: How are you doing?
A: SLAYER!!!!!
etc.
SLAYER - slang
A sport played entirely inside of a moving car. The front passenger's sole duty is to think of the must over the top metal band/word/singer/ect to SCREAM at pedestrians, creating a scare. Points and responses can be tallied. Be mindful of pigs when doing this. Also, for the driver, ensure you're not approaching a red light.
Game On Kids.
*Spots a man on the street*
MUTHER FUCKING SLAYER!!!
SLAYER
The masters of metal. The baddest riffs (warning: Wimps may damage their wrist trying to play their music), the fastest drumbeat, the meanest voice and the most EVIL lyrics...
Typical Slayer lyrics: "The Gates of Hell are waiting can't you see, there's no other way just follow me
I can take your lost soul from the grave
Jesus knows your soul cannot be saved"
SLAYER
She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries.
See Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Buffy tells Riley to look her up, "Slayer, the".
SLAYER
Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot.
Yes, Once spoken by James Hetfield from Metallica, right after SLAYER released "Reign in Blood" that SLAYER was definately responsible for a huge part of their own success. "Paving the way" for them. Little did James know that Tom, Kerry, Jeff & Dave would continue to produce music and lyrics the way they wished too, not selling out to anyone, at anytime as Metallica did after the sad and unexpected departure of Cliff Burton. May he rest in peace!
SLAYER members currently are Tom Araya, Kerry King, Jeff Hanneman and Dave Lombardo. The only other members SLAYER ever had was (Dave Lombardo's replacement after he left SLAYER to make some wonderful music with the band GRIP, INC.) Paul Bostaph, ex-FORBIDDEN drummer.
Slayer is one of the most controversal groups that actually made it really big because of their dark musical interests. Their music has won over the hearts of hundreds of thousands of people world wide, a feat a majority of other people can even dream on doing. SLAYER is god.
Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot.
SLAYER is the best damn band that ever came out of the 80's.....