|
|
What is Lawyers?
A person who knows about the law, the loopholes in the law, and the Constitution (the Constitution has no loopholes), and will use any and all of the above to get you out of whatever stupid ass mess that your stupid ass got you into. You will love this person, until you pay them, when you will hate them, but at least you will be out of jail, unless you lost. A lawyer typically is an unhappy looking nerd typing on a blackberry, unless they work for the government, in which case they are harder to pinpoint.
Marc: Look at that lawyer, he scares me shitless with his knowledge of the law and the Constitution
Anne: What are you talking about, lawyers are just like us
Marc: What are you, on drugs?
Anne: (Hours later, after coming off high) Yes, I was. The cops arrested me for possession. I have to call my lawyer now
Lawyers - meme gif
Lawyers - video
Lawyers - what is it?
A zealous advocate acting as an agent for a client. The duty to the client is a fiduciary duty, the highest duty the law can impose. As a result of this duty a lawyer is required to obtain extensive knowledge of the law along with a high level of legal research and analysis skills. Another result of the fiduciary duty is that the attorney must act in the client's best interest regardless of personal interests or moral objections. The lawyer must use any tool given by the law to ensure the most attractive outcome for the client, including technicalities and vague language.
Lawyers are often criticized for the duties they are bound to uphold. Lawyers are also criticized for following poorly written laws that they are bound to follow, created by the legislative branch of government, which represents the people.
Lawyers are the people's most important defense against governmental and private intrusions on personal and property rights.
Lawyers knowledge of the law makes abuse of their duties especially dangerous to a society that relies on them.
What does "Lawyers" mean?
The act of doing or performing lawyer like tasks.
Nikki was the best at lawyering.
She went to work to do some lawyering.
All the other lawyers were impressed by her lawyering skills.
Lawyers - what does it mean?
To win an argument so thoroughly, there is no chance of rebuttal
Oh Neil I lawyered you so hard there
Lawyers - meaning
A student in the laws of a sovereign body. To become a lawyer one must study the basics of the law for a specified period than pass a difficult proficiency examination.
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the
rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our
pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person
that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things
for them is to say, "objection." "Objection! Objection, your Honor."
Objection, of course, is the adult version of, "Fraid not." To which the judge
can say two things, he can say, "overruled" which is the adult version of "Fraid
so," or he could say, "sustained," which is the adult version of "Duh."
- Jerry Seinfeld
Lawyers - definition
A white guy you pay to convince the judge/jury that you didn't do it.
TYRONE BIGGINS:Yeah that nigga's fucked. The judge aint' gonna take it easy on a nigga.
Alexander:He be needin a laywer.
TYRONE: Nigga, what?
A: You know, nigga! Lawyer be some white dude willing to pretend to be your friend 'n shit in front of the judge so you ain't look so bad.
TYRONE: Aw yeah, he be like "Look, Imma white guy, and I'm aksin nicely to take it easy on dis nigga"
"Lawyer Commercial*
Some lawyer sounding voice: Here at Wilson in Wilson we know how it be for a nigga. Haters don't think it be like it is, but it do. But we do. I'm Greg Wilson, and I'll be your white guy.
TYRONE: Da fuuu...?
Lawyers - slang
Someone who studies or practises Law, usually a member of the legal prfession as either a solicitor or barrister. very often the better lawyers are involved in fighting for Human Rights and Civil Liberties in courts and the academic kind often researches to find out what effects laws are having on real people.
Often insulted by people who don't know how hard work it is and how much the authorities and corporations would trample over their rights if lawyers and the law didn't exist.
"Look at that dead lawyer in Northern Ireland that was shot for supporting the wrong side, thank god there's one less of them!" - a stupid person
Lawyers
Barney: (To Ted) Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
Marshall: You really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yea, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!
Lawyers
When the crimes you commit are so bad that your lawyer needs to get a lawyer.
"My lawyer's lawyer said he can get my lawyer off so my lawyer should be in court for me."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
Lawyers
The most evil, lowliest people on the face of the earth, Spend most of thier days chasing ambulances (ambulance chasers), or suing the hell out of innocent civilians for stating their opinions.
From an Urbandictionary stay/go vote thing:
I am a lawyer representing the company which this individual has said untruthful statements against. I am recommending you remove all anti-AOL, as a matter of fact all AOL, America Online, or any other names people come up with or within 14 days I will be placing a lawsuit against this website for closure due to slander against the AOL company. AOL did not request this, they had enough employees..."
Whether this was a real lawyer or not, its fairly typical of that they do.