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What is Fredericksburg?
A city that is stuck between Northern Virginia and Richmond (Southern Virginia) and is also known as "Back in the Bushes" (Spotsylvania County). Home of the worst shopping center ever built, Central Park. A place where the women like to wear tight clothing regardless if they are thin or fat (most of them are fat rednecks). It also has a lot of Civil War history which the people of the city (Rednecks) are damn proud of. I would also like to point out that this is a place where the mullet lives and lesbians thrive.
"Hey man, let's go hang out at Walmart in Central Park."
"Is that the shopping center in Fredericksburg, VA?"
"Yeah."
"No thanks. It's bad enough I have to drive in traffic and fight idiots on 95 on the way to work in the morning to that other state (NoVA)."
Fredericksburg - meme gif
Fredericksburg - video
Fredericksburg - what is it?
Fredericksburg, Texas is a medium sized shithole which only is beneficial if you are a wealthy person from Austin, San Antonio or Dallas and just need a weekend "to get away from it all."
If you are a native Fredericksburgian, there is a 50% chance you'll marry your high school fuck buddy, a 20% chance you'll become a pothead and work on main street, and a 29% chance that you will go to a university in Texas and maybe do something with your life. That one remaining percent are the people smart enough to get as far away from it as fucking possible.
If you are still attending school here, watch out. Here are a few guidelines:
-Don't sleep with your teacher. We all know what happened there.
-Don't haze Tivy. Well, don't get caught hazing Tivy.
-Watch out for those damn car accidents that seem to claim one of us every so often as a cautionary tale.
-For the love of God, don't become a Fredericksburg hipster. No one cares that you went to ACL.
-This will all be over soon. :D
I feel like we should end all the hopes you have, so we're moving to Fredericksburg, TX!
There's nothing to do in Fredericksburg, TX, so why don't we beg our older siblings to buy us beer, get wasted, go to the Marketplatz and piss in the water wheel?
I'm young, semi-attractive and living in Fredericksburg, TX; let's go running on Main Street!
What does "Fredericksburg" mean?
A strip mall with a thyroid problem which used to be a nice, quiet place to live, but has since been given over to rich, fat, slow, obnoxious, traffic killing tourists from Austin and San Antonio and their squalling, equally fat, and obnoxious brats at the expense of the overworked and underpaid citizenry who, thanks to the influx of social security parasites who have driven up the cost of living like the leeches they are, can barely afford to live and raise a family. There is virtually no other industry apart from tourism, no other means of bolstering the economy, and thus, no opportunity for the young people of Fredericksburg who, realizing this, leave and never return. In droves.
This has been done deliberately by the city fathers who saw a cash cow in selling out their town and enjoy the status of being big fish in a small pond.
The day will soon come when they give up their charade of caring about the locals, rename Fredericksburg "Das Mall", and pass an ordinance requiring all of the locals to wear lederhosen and dirndls for the amusement of the turistas.
"So, where ya from?"
"Fredericksburg, Texas."
"You mean the German town with all the antique stores? Oh yeah, my wife and I love that place! We're going to retire there!"
"Eat a dick."
Fredericksburg - what does it mean?
A shitty bar filled with scum bags and pretend metalheads. The bouncers are crack heads who slip roofies in girls' drinks. The bathroom is covered in a filthy slime of hepatitis, piss, and smegma. If you're trying to get laid, ask the guy with a tattoo of a dick on his dick. He will suck you off for a free PBR, in the bathroom.
I need a good BJ, and I would love some hepatitis. I'm going to Spirits in Fredericksburg!!
Fredericksburg - meaning
FXBG! before some awful legislation dubbed in FUG. where the sniper struck twice. you can find more teenage mothers than adult ones. Super high incident rate of youth car fatalities. You can drink, smoke, go to carl's, make babies, and thats pretty much it.
(PSA: enough with the drinking and driving.)
"what are ya'll doin in fredericksburg tonight?"
"gonna drink a 40, catch a buzz, pick up this bitch, go to carl's, knock her up, and send her home in a cab like hanover street do."
"Well, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"another funeral..."
Fredericksburg - definition
A city in VA, but really it is a generalization for any large suburb on the east coast. Many of the people there lack creativity and imagination or feel they are not responsible for entertaining themselves. If they are bored they will blame it on the city, as if the city itself put a gun to their head and forced them to do nothing. These people will often talk about moving or going somewhere 'better' but never do.
Sue - "Man I'm soooo bored, I hate fredericksburg! There is nothing to do here!"
Jack - "Well what do you feel like doing?"
Sue - "I don't know!"
Sue will later go to Starbucks, Carl's, Walmart and the mall that night and have this exact same conversation with six other people. She will continue doing this everyday for the next three years.
Fredericksburg - slang
An elite town nestled in the sprawling country between Richmond and D.C., Fredericksburg is home to many old money families and is known for it's wealthy, preppy families. Most kids here attend top notch schools, party hard, and spend their summers at the country club. You can't walk more than a block in historic downtown without seeing girls and boys decked out in Lilly Pulitzer, Vineyard Vines, Southern Tide, Southern Marsh, and Costa del Mars. Families here are very waspy, and many of the kids often go on to attend elite southern colleges.
Isn't Fredericksburg just one of the most beautiful, southern, historic towns in Virginia?
Fredericksburg
Oh my god! The other definitions of this Arent even close to describing fredericksburg!! Don't judge it unless you really know it. No, our youth car crash rate is actually very low, and hardly any teens are pregnant, unless you go into the ghetto. (Not trying to be racist.. But it's true) and we are not ALL rich preppy families. We aren't just rednecks, were southern. There's a huge difference. It's not boring, it's amazing and fun. Amazing people, fun events, and more. Everybody is so nice, the city is really just beautiful, and you should visit:) while youre here, go to Carl's! It's only THE BEST ice cream place ever, it's been around since early 1900's, so it's a historical landmark. People really underestimate this town, while its truly just beautiful and perfect.
Katie: wow, I never realized how much I actually love it here!
Jackson: yeah, me either.
Kate: I mean there's just so much to do! Want to go to the haunted house later?
Jackson: yeah, then to Carls, I could use some ice cream.
Katie: ok let's go! Fredericksburg is the best!
Fredericksburg
Also known as "frednecksburg." There's only three catogories of people: gansters, wangsters, and rednecks. There's absolutely nothing to do in this county except drugs and girls. People in this county blame their boredness on the town itself.
There's nothing to freakin' do in Fredericksburg!!
Fredericksburg
A small town nestled in the country hills between Richmond and D.C. Downtown F-burg boasts and carries it's historical knowledge about it's self with more pride than the LGBT community. Downtown f-burg also has WAY too many restaurants, vintage stores, half-assed specialty stores, wangsters, and pretentious yuppies. We have one major shopping district known as Central park with one piss pot mall, even more restaurants, and the infamous snipers that caused a ruckus in the early 2000s.
Fredericksburg... it WAS a cool town at one point. We actually had great music and art stores, we had a general store right downtown, and a theater. It was a town that wasn't so goddamn full of itself and filled with stick-up-ass conservatives, but the dreaded gentrification took over and sucked the fucking life right out of this town.
Visitor: Hey man, you seem like a local. Fredericksburg seems pretty cool but is there anything else to do around here other than learn about it's history?
local: There are things to do OTHER than partying like its year one, eating beyond obesity with the ridiculous amount of restaurants, and buying old overpriced/bullshit novelty items. But iIsuggest you go to Richmond for any fun, shit gets old real quick in this town.