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What is molestache?
1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.
"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."
molestache - video
Molestache - what is it?
type of mustache: not quite a pornstache but just as creepy.
looks like: John Mayer trying to grow a Tom Selleck mustache. John Mayer has a molestache.
What does "molestache" mean?
1. The kind of mustache or gotee that guys who refuse to a woman alone at a club or bar have; think that one guy from the backstreet boys, or european "musician" Gunter (similar to a mexistache)
2. the kind of mustache sex-offenders grow in order to seem more normal; think ned flanders or geraldo. in this instance, the upper lip is usually not visable and the stache is usually, but not always, acompanied by a mullet or mull-ette
That dick with the molestache won't stop trying to get me to go home with him. He's gross and smells like mustard.
Molestache - what does it mean?
a mustache that resembles that which a child molester, such as David Westerfield, might have.
Did you see that guy's molestache Yeah he looks like such a creeper.
Molestache - meaning
A mustache so disturbingly creepy, it literally molests your eyeballs. It also has been known to put women and men into a trance, whereupon the victim awakens, disrobed with the sneaking suspicion he or she has been raped.
Janine: Holy shit that was close!
Ugly Jane: What was?
Janine: The molestache on that trucker over there almost caught me in its trailer-tractor beam. Now come on, let's scram before we black out and wake up raped!
Ugly Jane: You go on ahead, I'm gonna get my fuck on.
Molestache - definition
A horrible grow of hair on the upper lip halfway between peach fuzz and a mustache. This frighting facial hair is often grow on the lip of a teenage boy either trying to look manly or simply refusing to shave. Can also appear on the face of an old woman.
Oh look at Jim he really needs to shave he is getting a molestache.
Molestache - slang
Also known as Molester Moustache or my first mustache.
Molestache
A group of bristles or hairs about the mouth of a man who cannot seem to grow it in fully. Sometimes this is caused by the subject going through puberty, but it is generally thought that Darwin's theory of evolution may take part in this phenomenon.(if a person is undesirable, his body may not allow him to have normal bodily functions...like growing hair on his face.) This act of trying to grow facial hair but horribly failing is usually perpetrated by child molesters and heshers for some unknown reason.(or possibly the Darwinist theory above)
That guy over there in the trenchcoat reading teen beat has a killer Molestache!
Molestache
MOLESTache, the unfashionable mustache that rapists pedophiles(child MOLESTers) and dictators wear.
BTK killer, Hitler, Stalin all have a molestache. Exemptions Burt Reynolds(only).
Molestache
A group of thin, wispy hairs located on the upper lip that the wearer believes constitutes facial hair. Much like he believes her thin, wispy cries constitute consent.
Hey, nice molestache...wait, what are you doing? Don't touch me, just--no! Oh, God! Help! Please, someone! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!