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What is chemical engineering?
When you were 18, the university recruiters told you chemical engineering had "so much variety" and "so many opportunities!" Now, you're graduating 4 years later and have realized that your only two options include oil refining (making gasoline from crude oil) and plastics (making polyethylene from ethylene).
This is probably okay, because whatever you suffer in breathing in toluene all day wearing dark coverall FRC's in 95°F weather, you'll make up for with a 6-digit salary right out of school. You also find yourself with a strangely intimate understanding of how everything around you works, like swimming pools, HVAC, cars, plumbing... everything.
Snooty grad-school materials researcher: "So what are you doing after you graduate?"
You: "I'll be working for a (Exxon/Valero/TOTAL/Phillips66/Shell/Citgo/Lyondell/BP) refinery."
SNGSMR: "Oh, so you're *just* a chemical process engineer?"
You: *grabbing another beer, talking to someone else, driving home in your brand new car...*
chemical engineering - video
Chemical engineering - what is it?
Chemical-Engineering Hot is not so much the physical appearance of an individual of the female gender but more so the mental state of mind of her observer. It has been scientifically proven that throughout the years of undergraduate study, and being constantly exposed to a mass majority of ugly girls ones standard of what makes a girl hot dramatically decreases. The unfortunate side effect of this is known to make girls appear to be much more attractive than they really are on the street.
It has been shown that a similar condition can occur in a number of situations and places such as the work environment, a fishing boat, the desert, after indulging in mass quantities of alcohol the bar is closing and its monday night and if there is one female left alive.
1st: Conversation between two male, 1st year Year Chemical Engineering Undergraduate
male 1:" Man, we really get screwed in this department every girl in this class looks as if they were beaten with the really big over sized ugly stick, (girl 1) makes me want to vomit"
male 2: " Oh my god, I know! In my my Pysch 101 class the hot girls just pour in and the class room holds 400 students and half of them are sexy girls"
----------------2 years elapse------------------------
Conversation between the same 2 males now as 3rd year Chemical Engineering Undergraduates
male 1:" Dude, call me crazy but, girl one is kinda sexy in here own little way dont you think?"
male 2:" You know I was thinking the same thing but, I didn't want to be the one who said it, I would say shes at least a 9"
--------------------class ends males are walking to student center-----------
male 1: " Guy, I think were going crazy because shes really not attractive compared to all these other girls"
male 2: " Yeah you are right shes just Chemical-Engineering Hot"
But the truth of the matter is girl 1s appearance as steady declined over the pass 3 year.
What does "chemical engineering" mean?
(1) Someone who wishes he or she was cool enough to do electrical engineering, but had to settle for something lower
(2) An individual who chooses to go through the hell of extremely hard classes, ergo an individual who hates themself
Tony is a chemical engineer because he enjoys suffering and pain.
Chemical engineering - what does it mean?
(1) a stupid son of a bitch who didn't know what he was getting himself into.
(2) one who hates electrical and mechanical engineering but still wants to make money when he finishes college
Look at that bitch, he's a chemical engineer. Dude he must be high
Chemical engineering - meaning
A person who knows enough chemistry to confuse a chemist, enough math to confuse a mathematician, and enough physics to confuse themselves.
Chemical Engineer: "hear this one. An electron and a positron walk into a bar"
*awkward pause*
Person: "And, what happens?"
Chemical Engineer: "yea it still confuses me as well"
Chemical engineering - definition
A motherfucker who sold their soul to hours upon hours of endless studying and crying because they want to make bank starting out of college. Done so in only 4 to 5 years.
Little Billy decided to become a chemical engineer. He hasn't laughed or smiled in 8 years.
Chemical engineering - slang
One who does for profit what a chemist does for fun. See also Prostitute.
What's the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist?
about 20 grand.
Chemical engineering
1) Hardest of the engineering disciplines and probably the hardest undergrad major ever. By the time you are three years into it, you'll hear strange noises at night and get increasingly paranoid. Some go insane or so the legends tell.
2) making other majors sound worthless
3) intense rape
Dude 1: "What's your major man?"
Dude 2: "Chemical Engineering"
Dude 1: "...how long do you think you'll last?"