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What is calm your tits?
Something you say when your girl is getting a little too excited/anxious/nervous/etc.
Variation of "Smooth your boobs" "give your chest a rest" "adjust your bust before you combust" "hakuna yo tatas".
Mindy: I can't believe you were flirting with Cindy! We're DATING Tom! Where is your LOYALTY?! How am I supposed to raise our unborn child?!
Tom: Wait... We have a child?
Mindy: That's besides the point. WHY WERE YOU LEADING HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM?! IN MY OWN HOUSE?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!
Tom: Calm your tits, Mindy, Cindy's my cousin. Besides, you've banged Cindy, Sandy, Quinn, and Nate before.
Mindy: *walks away muttering* Well, so have you...
calm your tits - video
Calm your tits - what is it?
"Calm your tits, I didn't steal your snickers! "
What does "calm your tits" mean?
Soothe your Boobs - Destress your Breast - Adjust your Bust before it Combusts - Undo the Calamity that is your Mammaries - Give that Chest a Rest - Hakuna your Tatas (calmyotits.com)
- honey why you cheat on me?
- calm your tits
Calm your tits - what does it mean?
this phrase is used when someone you are with is too uptight to calm them down
judy: "oh my goodness my hair looks terrible today"
steve: "no, no it doesnt judy"
judy: "shut up steve, yes it does ahhhhh"
steve: "alright judy calm your tits"
Calm your tits - meaning
A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"
Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*
Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it
combusts.
*end of discussion*
Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...
Thank you for your time
Calm your tits - definition
An expression uttered when an individual reacts in an inappropriately excited manner to a given situation.
Jim: "Oh, my God. Did you see that guy hit on my girlfriend? He gave her a drink and smiled at her. He's totally trying to hit on her. I'm going to fight him."
Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's the bartender."
Calm your tits - slang
Someone has become so angry that it's becoming out of control, they're impossible to calm down. So, one says they should "calm their tits".
Tammy: You know what I really think of you?
Jon: What?
Tammy: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UGLY, ATROCIOUS, ROTTEN, DECOMPOSING, NASTY, MENSTRUAL RAG!! YOU SUCK BITCH!!! YOU SUCK!!!! GO TO HELL AND BECOME THE DEVIL'S PLAY TOY!!! GO GET MUTILATED AND EATEN ALIVE AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING BUM!!! YOU FUCKING SLUMLORD!!! EAT MY SHIT AND SUFFOCATE IN MY ASSHOLE!!!!!
Jon: Calm your tits already, Jesus!
Calm your tits
A term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.
Dan: "Matt your swing is awful! Your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more" Matt: "Dan, calm your tits"
Calm your tits
A sexist and degrading way of telling someone to calm down. Effective because it silences the addressee by invoking their fear of appearing like a hysterical female.
Wife: "I can't believe you would quit your job and not even tell me about it!"
Husband: "Calm your tits. If you ever had a job, you would understand."
Boyfriend: "I just don't want to have children unless we're married."
Girlfriend: "Calm your tits. You sound like my mom."
Calm your tits
A term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.
Dan: "Matt your swing is awful! Your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more" Matt: "Dan, calm your tits"