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What is asian parent?
You non asians think that all asians are awesome? Nope, you're wrong especially when it comes to OLD G(Generation) Asian Parents. Old G Asian Parents only let their kids marry people of their same nationality. Asian boys can't grow hair pass their ears. Getting a C isn't bad, but for OLD G Asian Parents, you're screwed. They don't let their daughters go out because they think their daughter is going to get rape or take naughty pictures. The food is rice all the time. They want their kids to be a doctor or a pharmacist.
Asian Dad: Hey boy you have the girlfriend yet?
Asian Boy: Yeah
Asian Dad: She the white, the black, or the spanish?
Asian Boy: Yeah she's white.
Asian Dad: WHAT!!! YOU A DISGRACE! DUMP HER RIGHT NOW. WE GO TO LAOS TO FIND YOU A HMONG GIRLFRIEND!
Asian Boy: FML! THIS IS AMERICA!
Asian Dad: Hey boy, CUT YOUR HAIR RIGHT NOW!
Asian Boy: Why can't I have my hair the way I want it? It's America not Asia.
Asian Dad: You like getting the back door huh.
Asian Boy: What?
Asian Dad: A.....A......A.......C..........let me get my whip k boy. Can't find it but I got two steel chopsticks though.
Asian Girl: Hey mom I'm gonna go hang out with my girlfriends.
Asian Mom: HUH!?!? any boys?
Asian Girl: One guy and that's it.
Asian Mom: YOUR FRIENDS WILL RAPE YOU!
Asian Girl: How? They're all girls except for one guy.
Asian Mom: THEY GOING TO TAKE YOU TO PARTY FULL OF BOYS!
Asian Boy: It's ok mom and dad, I'm going to eat Stouffer's lasagnas.
Asian Parents: THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU FULL! RICE MAKE YOU FULL!
Asian Dad: Hey boy, you the doctor yep?
Asian Boy: No dad, I'm only 16.
Asian Dad: Then study hard instead of your stuuuuupid guitar.
Asian Boy: Dad I want to make a Visual Kei band in the future.
Asian Dad: NO! DOCTER BETTER!
asian parent - video
Asian parent - what is it?
Makes you wish that bedtime was earlier
Fucks up your self-esteem
*Note* Not all Asian parents are like this, some are actually nice and understanding.
Parents that will often call you useless, trash, garbage, brainless, stupid, etc.
They expect their children to pass every single subject.
Often forces their children to attend after school programs and summer school.
Asks for your suggestion on where to eat, but when you choose, they will change their mind of asking you for your suggestion.
Will say they love you when you do something good, but won't hesitate to say that they hate you once you fail something.
Extremely controlling, and hardly lets you hang out with friends.
Examples:
Asian Parents:You got an F in math and science?!?!?!?!
Asian Kid:But its not even the end of the trimester, I still have a chance to make up my grades.
Asian Parents:Get the fuck over here!
Asian Kid:Mom, I got a A on my test!
Asian Mom:I love you, now let me check on the rest of your grades.
Asian Kid:Shit
Asian Mom:I fucking hate you, you are a worthless and stupid kid.
What does "asian parent" mean?
during the coronavirus pandemic, all the asian parents decided to lock their kids in their homes and did not let them go outside at all, which literally makes me cry. I have had no social interaction for a month.
Asian parents quarantined me.
Asian parent - what does it mean?
Parents that are horrible for the following reasons...
1. They will make you do unnecessary work from school, such as next week's homework, or if you have none, they make you read your textbook.
2. If you are ever caught with a person of the opposite gender, they will beat you and assume you fucked them.
3. They will beat you for random reasons, and since they are asian, they know kung fu and will beat your ass.
4. Any grade below a 90 is considered failing, even if you have 89.4.
5. Once you're in High school, presents for your birthday and Christmas will stop coming. Or if the gifts do come, they will be in the form of programs or books on the SAT's or school subjects.
6. Your hair cannot be longer than 1 inch if your a male.
7. Playing video games is not allowed on weekdays, and only like 1-2 hours on weekends.
8. To buy something, it must be on sale.
9. Going out with friends is a no no.
10. Your food with always have rice in it.
11. You will be expected to become a doctor or something similar.
12. Talking against your parents will be punished.
13. You never get any money, and if you do get some, then it goes right into your "college" fund.
14. Anything over $10 will not be bought for you.
15. They will always have poor grammar. No matter how much they've been in the U.S.
16. They will reinforce math and science like crazy.
Asian parents: You get B+...be prepare to die...
Me: Oh god....
On christmas morning
*opens presents*
Damn it...another math book.
Parent: Why your hair so long? And was that girl with you???
Me: I like my hair like this. And yes, that was a girl.
Parent: HEY! You talk back and you with girl, you gonna get hurt....
Asian parent - meaning
Their logic include:
1) since they gave birth to you, they think can control what you watch on YouTube, Television, etc.
2) since they gave birth to you, they think they can control what you listen to on the radio or any other thing that you can stream music on, such as, Spotify, Pandora. Etc.
3) their logic for grades :
A=acceptable
B= almost acceptable
C= compared, crime
D=dead
F= you're fucked
4) they control your hair cut
Acceptable hair cuts include :
Girls: long flowing hair, bob cut, bangs, side bangs, and basically any thing but boy hair cuts.
Boys: bowl cut, buzz cut, fowhawk.
5) they feed you and shove food on you, then calls you fat afterwards
6) if you spend more than an hour on any electronic device, you're fucked
7) they won't let you play any sport other than swimming, dancing (any type), badminton, or tennis. Claiming it's too dangerous
8) they compare you to their relative's, friend's, or co-workers' sons or daughters and say you should "follow their example and do better then them so they could brag to their parents"
Asian kid:oh shit, I got a C on this test, my parents are gonna kill me
White kid: just switch it with mine, I got an A
Asian kid: they're gonna find out, they always find out,
They're Asian parents, whatever you do, they'll always find out
Asian parent - definition
People who are characterized by the following items-
*Expects their children to always receive straight As on their report cards, tests, projects, quizes, and even questions you if you get an A on your homework assignment. And if you don't get an A, than they'll give you that long-hard-cold-stare and beat ya till you're an inch from death.
*Expects you to do the laundry, make dinner, fix a door (actually anything for that matter), and do the things that they're supposed to be doing while they're watching some Asian drama series(no allowance).
*Are easily frustrated and calls their children the following names-
Useless
Trash
Worthless
Stupid
No-Brain
Disgrace
*If you have even two-inch long hair, they will call it long, and a mess, and they will force you to get either a bowl cut, a buzz cut, or something far worse.
*Polos, polos, polos, not just any but the plain-one-colored-pocket-shirt-polos. That's what you're gonna be wearing till you're twenty.
*Expects you to be locked up in your room, studying and reading educational reports and documents during the weekend, winter break, spring break, and summer.
*Expects ya ta be a doctor or a dentist...I wanted to be a paleontologist...
*Are super cheap...so no tips..uses eachother's membership cards just for the discounts provided(funny incident), will not buy new clothes, always goes to the dollar store, and etc.
Well that's for all right now-enjoy
*Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a girl-
Mom-you have sex with her???
Me-No...we were just discussing some school...
Mom-Oh ok, what was it about?
Me-Our algebra homework....
Mom-AHA YOU CHEATA! *bitchslaps*
*Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a black girl-
Mom-you want to marry a brack girl???
Me-um, that's racist and n...
Mom-*double bitchslaps*
Asian parent - slang
(Usually, but not always) Strict, nosey, and controlling. They make you go to summer school if you get a B+ in an honors math class, even if you had the best grade out of all the Asians who took that class, and replace your grade all because 'if you get 4.0, you get sit on stage when graduate!'. To Asian parents, summer is not a 'break' as it is to other children in America, but 'a time to catch up'. Summer for Asian kids include SAT/ACT/PSAT prep (whether its doing books or taking classes), summer school, piles of math books, etc. while others are hanging out with friends and making s'mores. Asian Parents control their kids' lives because they want them to get into a good college, so that 1) They can brag to their asian friends about what college you go to <---MAIN REASON 2) You can be a doctor and make lots of money and 3) They can brag about how much money you make as a doctor
Asian parents often put on a facade to others that they are nice, normal American parents. Then, when your friends leave (if they ever get the OK to come over), your parents start yelling at you, pressuring you to do math, and/or beating you for something you did that 'embarassed' them (i.e. having a messy room). They also severely disapprove of technology (computers, ipods, tvs). If you get an A- its CLEARLY your ipods fault, so its going to be taken away until you get above a 98. If you watch an hour of TV, they begin yelling at you to stop and give you a lecture about how TV is like crack.
Asian summer: 8am-1:30pm summer school, 1:30pm-3:00pm math, 3:00pm-6:00pm tennis, 6:00pm-10:30pm math, FML
Asian parents: "I signed you up for PSAT class!"
Me:"...fine..."
Asian parents:"Ooo since good deal I signed you up for ACT class too!"
Me:"...WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!! But according to these pretests Ill either get a 35 or a 36!!!"
Me:"....I got...a 92%..."
Asian mom:"WHAT?! I told you no ipod! NO MORE IPOD till you get 98!!"
Me: -watching friends-
Asian mom: YOU WATCH TV FOR SO LONG!!!! GO DO MATH!!!
Me: But mom I've only been watching for an hour!!!
Asian mom: TV like drug!!! Once start can neeveerrrr stop! Addicted then you grades go down!
Asian mom: NO TV ON WEEKDAYS....AND 2 HOURS ON WEEKENDS
Asian mom: Getting B like cutting your leg off!
Asian parent
Asian parents consume themselves with getting their child into an Ivy League, compare their child to other children, and/or act strictly toward their children. For example, asian parents typically sign their children up for summer school without their child's knowledge or consent, only to tell their children the day before that they must attend the summer school that they were signed up for. They are characterized but not limited to parents of asian descent.
Scott: "Sorry I could not see that movie yesterday. My parents made me stay home because they were scared I was going to party too much. Instead, they made me stay home and work on my Harvard application for eight hours."
Jeff: "Wow. Too bad you have asian parents. We had a great time yesterday."
Asian parent
parents who are asian. many times they will push their kids very hard academically in hopes of them having a good job in the future. unlike most american parents who actually have a sense of reasoning, asian parents always think they are right and will not accept any other answer than a yes. anything but an A on a report card means failure at something, even though on the report card it usually says a B is above average. they are also many times more strict than the average white parent, sometimes not even letting their kids go out partying everyday and al most always thinking about how other people are going to judge them based on the actionas of their child. even though they believe that their actions are the best, it is not always the case. although studying to get that 5.0 in school might get you into a good college to get a slightly better job there are many other things that are sacrificed along the way. some of them including social interactions and good memories. the main problem, as i see it, is that they raise their child as they were raised but in a conpletely different setting causing najor disputes.
Asian kid 1 - Crap i have to do homework for five AP classes and if i get a B my asian parents are gonna kill meee!!
ASian kid 2 - dude just relax, its america. if you defy them for too long they'll leave you alone. now lets go smoke some weed and listen to pink floyd.
asian kid 1 - alright fuck this! tis my life mothafuckas!!
Asian parent
asian moms usually care mostly about looking young and will do anything for self benefit($)
dads usually don't give two shits about their children and shitty wife and chase other asian family wives(who play along with him and take advantage of all his money)
Asian parents usually call their kids stupid and useless for making simple mistakes. Especially mistakes that were meant to be made (their first try on something they never learned). They will ALWAYS compare you to their friend's kids and will talk shit in front of you. They will compliment their friend's kids like they are a godsend and say that their own kid has no future. Oh, and if it's the dad compliment someone's kids, then it's usually a housewife's kids. He will say how good he is with kids and talk about how good he is at cooking. Remember when Facebook came out around 2000s and everyone was being sheeps? WeChat is the asian app version of that. For asian parents. Thats where they talk shit about their own kids on that app while telling friends every single activity that they did that day. Because they are quirky and active. Also, they will never admit wrong. They are always right.
Asian Parent1 (Dad): Oh my son is so fucking autistic, he's a retarded fucking cunt. By the way, I love your kids they are so adorable *kiss noises*
Asian Parent Housewife Who Clearly Has a Rich Husband and Two Kids: Oh~ thank you~ mmm~ your money- i mean kids are not that fucking degenerate at all~