Dark Helmet: Out of order? FUCK! Even in the future, nothing works!
President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president!
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because "good is dumb."
Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Maj. Asshole: I did, sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that. What's his name?
Col. Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole too, sir. Gunner's Mate, First Class, Philip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes we got on this ship, any how?
Everyone: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. Keep firing, Assholes!
Dark Helm.: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
Dark Helm.: What hapened to then?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.
Dark Helm.: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now now.
Dark Helm.: Go back to then.
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helm.: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helm.: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helm.: Why?
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helm.: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helm.: When will then be now?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.
Dark Helm.: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helm.: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
Dark Helm.: Good!
Guard: What the hell are you doing?
Lone Star: The Vulcan neck pinch?
Dark Helm.: Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Star!"
A mediocre movie with little to no humor in it whatsoever that some feeble old man made who had nothing better to do with his so called life. A cheap parody of Star Wars. Humiliates and embarrasses people everywhere who are unfortunate enough to get stuck with the last name Schwartz and also makes fun of the amazing Star Wars series. Thanks a lotMel Brooks.
Geek 1: "Hahaha Spaceballs is so awesome, best movie ever!"
(Smarter)Geek 2: "Uh no way dude, it totally made fun of Star Wars which are the best movies ever!"
A short-term testicular problem among male astronauts after re-entry in the atmosphere. The low level of gravity exposure in space makes the cubic hairs "float," thereforefore after returning to Earth, they tend to remain in the upright position for sometime weeks at a time.
Astronaut 1: Hey Niel, how was it in the sack last night?