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What is João?
Someone who is very funny and is perfect in every aspect possible
You are very João calado
João - meme gif
João - video
João - what is it?
João Luís is a good guy, super handsome, a awesome skater and he has a big dick.
Omg João Luís is so sexy
fuck me João Luís
What does "João" mean?
João Rodrigues is the type of guy to have a huge c*ck. And not only that but he is extremely good a s*x.
He is also a Minecraft god that would beat the sh*t out of you with a stick.
"Is that João Rodrigues, who has that huge penis and that f*cked your mom. YES YOUR MOM"-Michael Jackson.
"I want João Rodrigues to beat me with his stick"- probably your crush.
João - what does it mean?
The COOLEST in the entire UNIVERSE. You're lucky af if you have a João in your life specifically João Gomes because he be intelligent, funny and the most caring dude on this planet.
This mans got self respect on a whole other level, also I could go on about his looks but I'm tryna type this under 5 mins not 100 years.
AND DONT WORRY HE AINT IGNORING YOU HE IS A SOCIALLY AWKWARD INTP <3
"I need help idk what to dooo"
"bro talk to João Gomes even if he doesn't know how to help he will 100% make you feel happier"
João - meaning
João Vitor is one of a kind. He is the most sweet, dedicated, loyal and funny boy you will ever meet. He will always be there for his friends, but he is a little shy, so don't expect him to tell you when he needs you, he doesn't like to bother anyone. He has a great sense of humor, in that way if you talk to him for a sec, he will bring joy and a lot of happiness into you life. Once you have him, you can't possibly think in a life without him again, so keep him close.
sb: How have we became friends?
João Vitor: I truly can't remember..
sb: I just know that I'm happier now, so that's fine.
João - definition
An amazing man to walk the earth. Usually found in the south-west corner of Europe but sometimes João Pedro ventures into the heart of the continent. A João Pedro is an intelligent guy, social, with a lot of friends, but he can also be a little shy. Taking pleasure in other peoples pleasure, you should not be surprised that João Pedro is incredible in bed and he has the most fantastic dick.
"I found a guy with the most incredible dick!"
"You found a João Pedro, right?"
João - slang
João Victor is the most amazing guy. He’s a great friend who will be there for you whenever you need him. João has the most beautiful smile and brown eyes that you could get lost in (and I did). Be careful because he is such a great person and so attractive that you’ll fall in love with him within seconds. He is so sweet and honestly the funniest person ever.
He’s also great in bed, do it once and you’ll be addicted. JV is a person that you should never let go of, he’s definitely a keeper.
A: “I wish I met someone really cool, you know?”
B: “I’ll introduce you to João Victor! He’s truly the best!”
João
John can mean many things ...
João means cool
João means god
João means you are the greatest in the whole world
João means smart
João can mean everything good that exists on Earth
Woah your hair its very João
Wow you had a SS+++++ on the teste?!?! You are so João!!
You are a João in this game!! No one can beat you!
There is only one João!!! Dont listen the other religions because they are wrong!
João
A pint of beer, cider or other alcoholic beverages in reference to João Pinto, the Portuguese footballer.
Fancy going to the pub for a joão?
João
A man whose penis is uncomonly large. In a way that it goes from Braga to Algarve and then it turns to china.
Often mistaken by: madeireiro profissional, mentiroso do caralho, skydiver profissional, mentiroso, mentiroso, barreteiro, mentiroso do caralho, mete petas.
Me: Look at that man, he has a huge penis!!
Friend: he must be João! of course he is a João!
Me: Look João is skydiving!
Friend: It won't be that exiting...
Me: why?
Friend: Because he is João and he will use his gigantic dick not to fall
Me: AWESOMEEEE!!!!