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What is Canada's History?A sexual act requiring four participants: 2 men; 1 young woman; and one elderly woman, ideally from montreal. Also necessary are a pair of moose antlers; a gallon jug of maple syrup; and ideally the stanley cup, although a replica can be substituted. The act begins with the young woman, called "Alberta Bertha," strapping on a large prosthetic penis carved from a walrus tusk and having lubricated it with maple syrup penetrates the rectum of one of the young men. This young man, the "Toronto Blue Jay," faces away from the woman penetrating him, bends over, reaches between his spread legs and grips her ankles firmly. The second man, called the "Buttfuckin canuck," stands behind the young woman and inserts his penis in her rectum while simultaneously penetrating her vaginally with one end of the moose antlers. The elderly french canadian woman then kneels behind the second man, inserting the other end of the moose antlers into her own vagina, and licks his rectum while masturbating with two fistfuls of french fries covered in gravy. For this reason she is called the "Madame Poutin." Extra fries, gravy, and maple syrup for lubricant are kept close at hand in the stanley cup. The resulting configuration of bodies in silhouette closely resembles the stylized maple leaf on the Canadian flag. Purists prefer there to be a heavily medicated beaver present, altho most modern practitioners consider The Beaver to be outmoded in the internet age. "Hey hoser, look at that granny and her grand daughter over there. It'd be great to hook up with them for a Canada's History, eh?" Canada's History - videoCanada's History - what is it?A sexual act so depraved Canadians are forbidden from speaking of it in public. Also known as "Going Balls-Diefenbaker." My girlfriend and I took a week off work to perform Canada's History and now I'm pretty sure I have a ruptured colon. What does "Canada's History" mean?A sex act of the most depraved type, usually between two men, and involving maple syrup, a hockey stick, the Stanly Cup, a Canadian flag, and several polar bears. This act is often performed on ice. Me: "I gave Stephen Colbert the Canada's History last night". Canada's History - what does it mean?Is when you put a miniature #99 Wayne Gretzky jersey on your cock, then pull your foreskin over another dude's circumsized penis which has a miniature #66 Mario Lemieux jersey on and dock with him; while being watched by a Sasquatch, Brian Mulroney, and the Blue Nose. "Hey remember on July 1st when those two guys showed us Canada's History." Canada's History - meaningThe 'Canada's History' is an extremely vile, yet strangely satisfying, sex act that originated in the Moose Jaw, SK, General Hospital Psychiatric ward in 1987. It is now practiced throughout Canada, especially in the cold parts, by children, adults, and seniors alike. The act itself involves the male genitalia being dipped in maple syrup before being made to negotiate a pair of Moose antlers which have been strapped to the female's groin area. Male beginners at this move may choose to wear a protective sports cup on the their groin while practicing this skill with their friends--this is often referred to on the schoolyards of Canada as the "Stanley Cup". Regional differences do exist in regards to the 'Canada's History' however. In maritime Canada and northern Quebec, where human-looking and smelling females have long since become extinct, the use of a seal instead of a human female is accepted. While the normal version of the "Canada's History" is culminated by both parties needlessly apologizing to each other, the Maritime/N. Quebec version ends with the clubbing of the aforementioned seal. "I wonder if mom and dad know we can hear them doing the Canada's History" Canada's History - definitionThe sexual act of covering moose antlers with maple syrup leaving it out overnight and sticking the bug covered antlers into as many orifices as possible while your partner beats you over the head with the Stanly Cup. Then using the resulting blood and semen to draw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth ii all while listning to Rush or Bryan Adams Bill: I met a hot girl from Toronto last night Canada's History - slangThe sexual act in which you pour maple syrup into a cup half way. You then collect moose leavings and put it into the Stanly Cup. Saw off moose antlers from either a live moose or a wall mounted moose head, you mix the syrup and moose scat with one antler. With the other you are to have a female or male partner and you spank the person with the antler. With the cup you pour the syrup/moose scat over the person. As you do, you are to sing the canadian anthem. After the cup is empty the person covered in the stuff is to vomit into the cup, and you are to jack off into it and mix this with the first antler. This you are to pour over you while naming Canada's provenses. After you have poured the vomit/cum over you, you and the partner is to fist eachother's asses at the same time, and saying "eh?" over and over. 1.The most vial and distrubing sexual act I have ever heared of is called Canada's History Canada's Historya sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec. Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh. Canada's HistoryThe most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup. I can't believe we just did Canada's History. Canada's HistoryA sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur: Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched? |
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