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What is Bidet?
An automatic ass cleaner using water at a water temperature and power of your choice. Can be installed as a completely different comode or in the same toilet seat itself. The evolution from using standard toilet paper and digging into your arse hole to remove that brown excrement.
"If you're still using toilet paper you're living in the 19th century and beyond. Wake up you bastards and get a bidet. NO HANDS needed to dig into your ass. When your done hosing your ass down, just PAT dry with a single square of TP."
Bidet - meme gif
Bidet - video
Bidet - what is it?
Bidet means 'little pony or little horse' in french.
A bidet is an accessory that resembles a toilet. It's not made to replace the use of toilet paper but rather to wash or jet blast the genitalia, perineum, anus and inner buttocks. Electronic bidets are wildly used by women and men across the globe to achieve mind blowing orgasms. While seated in a straddling position, the long nozzle is designed to reach the vulva and the tip of the penis. Men with larger penises are able to push the nozzle through the meatus which helps to expel any grizzled semen which may sandbag a plethoric blow. Women can push the nozzle into their vagina and ride the bidet like a pony while manipulating the water jet settings to stimulate the clitoris.
The newer models are all remote controlled with heating elements that blow warm air to dry the user. Illuminating night lights, heated seats, built in deodorizers and activated carbon filters which removes nasty odours are all added features to help achieve a hygienic orgasmic bliss.
Who needs a significant other when you can have a bidet.
What does "Bidet" mean?
The name given to a person who enjoys the act of using one’s tongue on the anus in order to gain and or give sexual pleasure.
A bidet within a bathroom is a device used to clean one’s anus and buttocks. The tounge during the act of rimming in the same way cleans the very same area.
“Did you take home Bidet last night?”
“Yes I did, and this morning I’m squeaky clean.”
Bidet - what does it mean?
I thought the bidet was a water fountain, boy was i wrong...
Bidet - meaning
1. A accessory water fixture located in or beside a toilet used for the purposes of cleaning one's arse.
2. A porcelain bowl with a water fixture used for the purposes of cleaning one's arse.
Example
Person 1: The supermarket was out of toilet paper! What are we going to do now? We can't possibly clean our arses.
Person 2: Have you considered retrofitting a bidet? Some can cost literally less that $50 on Amazon, are simple to install, saves you money and uses less water than toilet paper production in the long run, leaves your bum cleaner and without irritation, and you will never run out of cleaning power so long as there is running water. It also saves a shit tonne of toilet paper which means the toilet paper shortage won't affect you as much. They are superior in almost every way.
Person 1: That's absurd! I will never use a bidet. I'll just use newspapers to clean my arse.
Person 2: *Intensely, but quietly judging Person 1's life decisions.*
Bidet - definition
A douche bag of the homosexual variety.
I can't believe he's making out with another man on the dance floor while his boyfriend is watching. What a bidet.
Bidet - slang
When one is being excessively feminine and or a big gaping asshole they are said to be "on the bidet"
"Haha I had sex with your mom last night"
"Dude get off the bidet"
Bidet
When you edge a woman until she can’t control herself and then you jackhammer fart right on her clit so she squirts all over your dirty asshole to clean it up.
Isabelle and I ran out of toilet paper last night so we had to perform the bidet in bed.
Bidet
When you edge a woman until she can’t control herself any longer, then you jackhammer fart right up against her clit and make her squirt all over your dirty asshole to clean it up.
We ran out of toilet paper last night so Isabelle gave me the bidet in bed.
Bidet
Little bum washing toilet you can't shit in
'Hang on Brenda, I've just had a right clingy shite, need to use the bidet'