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What is the christmas?
People say Christmas is all about Presents, Santa Clause or this one guy named Jesus? Well you see those are all fake. We all know that Christmas is all about one thing and that is......
A swiss colony beef log.
Stockings are hung on the chimney
And the presents are under the tree
And Mamma's in the kitchen
Making some, 'erbal tea
The windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight
But as I wander, through this quiet house
Something just doesn't seem right
You see, every year, the neighbours bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log
But the neighbours aren't around, around, around
There's no Beef Log to be found this year
No Beef Log
Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get around
My mother tries to comfort me
She says "Here Son, have some egg nog"
I fucking hate egg nog, seriously
What do I see?
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me
Ah... Gravy!
Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
The roly-poly Colony Beef Log, baby!
Makes a little boy scream and shout!
Deck the halls with balls of Swiss Colony
La la la la la, la la, la la!
Sweet
the christmas - video
The christmas - what is it?
60 yr olds+ : "oh no. the family is coming over for lunch. i have to put up with their whingging and mess."
50 yr olds + :"christmas is so stressful - where am i going to come up with all the money for presents?!"
40 yr olds + (mid-life-crisis-era)+ :"christmas means big meals. it also means the time of year one adds more inches to thier middle"
30 yr olds + (starting-family-era)+ :" christmas is seeing the look of joy on my child face, christmas morning. its better to give than recieve"
from 20 yr old (lonely-depressive-bacholor-era)"christmas is all about santa who was invented by the coke-a-cola company to make millions of the stupid. christmas is a gimmick. its the one day a year i have to go to church"
teenagers (i-know-everything-era): "christmas is meant to celebrate the birth of Christ, its a catholic tradition shared all over the world, even though jesus' birthday isnt acctually on the 25th..."
young children every where: "i love christmas cos santa comes and gives me what ever i want, but its yucky waiting to open the presents. its ok coz i peek every year at them."
it was as if all her christmas's had come at once
What does "the christmas" mean?
The date of December 25th probably originated with the ancient "birthday" of the son-god, Mithra, a pagan deity whose religious influence became widespread in the Roman Empire during the first few centuries A.D. Mithra was related to the Semitic sun-god, Shamash, and his worship spread throughout Asia to Europe where he was called Deus Sol Invictus Mithras. Rome was well-known for absorbing the pagan religions and rituals of its widespread empire. As such, Rome converted this pagan legacy to a celebration of the god, Saturn, and the rebirth of the sun god during the winter solstice period. The winter holiday became known as Saturnalia and began the week prior to December 25th. The festival was characterized by gift-giving, feasting, singing and downright debauchery, as the priests of Saturn carried wreaths of evergreen boughs in procession throughout the Roman temples.
Jesus was not born on December 25th. He was 33 1/2 when he died on Nisan 14 which is in April. Do the math.
The christmas - what does it mean?
Christmas is a fun holiday. On Christmas people get presents and who doesn’t like presents. It is also a time to spend time with family and friends.
Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas
Lucy: Did you Bring presents for us?
Santa: Of course I did
Lucy: Yay! Can we open the presents now?
Rosie: And we can spend time with family and friends
The christmas - meaning
A widely celebrated end-of-the-year profit scam.
Ah, Christmas... the time to total your credit cards in complete disregard of Jesus Christ's birthday.
The christmas - definition
A celebration of humanity dating back thousands of years. It originated as a pagan celebration of the birth of the Sun, as it was celebrated on the winter equinox, and after that point, days got longer. When the Catholics/ Christians took over these pagan peoples, they replaced their holiday with their own Birth of the Son, (as in of God) to make the transition to Christianity's traditions easier. The idea of Santa Claus and his reindeer was created in the 1800s, and is loosely based on St. Nicholas, who gave random presents to people. The idea of a christmas tree dates back to German celebrations of Christmas thousands of years ago. They used an evergreen tree to symbolize life and hope in dark times, and hung apples on it. In modern times, it has again lost its religious meaning and is now used as a time of secular "joy." People spend the time with their family or friends and exchange gifts, a tradition from the Birth of Jesus. (As it is the birthday of the Lord, and people can't give Him material gifts, they exchange them with others.)
Christmas happens every year, whether we like it or not.
The christmas - slang
The celebration of the birth of commercialism... Oh yea, and Jesus.
I'm gonna set up traps to kill Santa.
The christmas
A collection of tradition's from all sorts of European pagan holidays around the time of the Winter Solstice. It used to be a violent party, but somehow became a family holiday. The Church hated Christmas, until they realised that they could "convert" it to Christianity. They claimed that Jesus was born on this day and badaboom badabing, ba-humbug. Now it's alright, I suppose.
Child: Yay! It's Christmas! What did you get me daddy?
Man: Your not my son. I'll fucking buy you something when you earn it, you bastard.
The christmas
A wonderful time when somebody breaks into your house and eats your cookies, whilst replacing the food with presents. <3
"Look! It's Christmas! I wonder if the happy chubby dude left me any presents!!"
The christmas
A time when an obese, chubby, and hairy man with a body mass index of 'obesity category III' (before cookies) uses the illegal tactic of breaking and entering to raid your home, steal your cookies, and then leave presents that you will most likely be anticipating for the whole night.
Is literally invisible when you try to catch him in the act. Nothing will work. (Or course, unless, you use thermonuclear bombs.)
"How was your Christmas?"
"A bald obese guy broke into my home and stole my cookies."
"That's nice. What did you get?"
"Coal."