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What is man flu?
Man flu, a term used to address a flu-like illness exclusive to men. Often 'man flu' is a term that is subject to ridicule and scepticism, the actual existence of it doubted. It is often assumed by others, namely women, as a namby pamby excuse used by their boyfriends, fathers, male work collegues and sons to predominantly to get out of responsibilities.
It is not the female equivalent of the menstrual cycle, but that won't stop men afflicted with it to act like they need to be babied constantly or sympathised with. Men are expected to be strong and dependable: the stereotype of what a real man is. For men to claim to have a moment of weakness for one moment in the eyes of a woman, God forbid, will raise the Q - are you a man or a mouse?
MICHAEL and JULIE, in their 20s, sit on a sofa. Michael sneezes. Clutches his chest as he coughs. He slumps back and reclines on the sofa, feverish.
Michael: I've got Man Flu. Can't get up. Give me a piggyback up the stairs will you?
Julie: Didn't you already get me to bring you a glass of milk? Now you want me to carry you to bed? Do you want me to get into the shower with you and scrub your poor aching back as well?
Michael: My God. I only want to go sleep it off, what's with the pissy attitude?
Julie: Are you a man or a mouse?
Michael: What does it mean, to be a man? And is it wrong to show a moment of weakness, is it wrong to want sympathy, to be babied once in a while? Why is it wrong for men, and acceptable for women?
man flu - video
Man flu - what is it?
When a man suffers from a minor illness, typically a cold, but complains of severe symptoms, such as severe pain and nausea, they are said to be suffereing from man-flu. The female perspective is typically that the afflicted man is suffering from attention-seeking behaviour, or that men have a lower pain threshold because they aren't designed to give birth. The male perspective is that actually it does hurt, and I will have another cup of hot chocolate thank-you.
Woman: "Jack's been off work for 3 days with what he reckons is that H5N1 killer flu, but I had it last week and it's was only a cold, so I think he's just got man-flu."
What does "man flu" mean?
A rare strain of flu so powerful and so deadly it can only be matched by the Bubonic Plague and Aids. A incurable virus which has adapted to only effect the "XY" gene found in men. The virus attacks the immune system 10,000 times harder than the average flu virus, causing excruciating pain for the victim. Man Flu has no cure and prayers can save the forsaken life of the infected. The often deadly virus is mostly laughed at by women who sadly cannot contract "Man Flu"
Woman: Is he ok?
Doctor: I'm afraid not, I'm sad to say he has Man Flu
Man flu - what does it mean?
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.
*(Survey of over 100,000 men)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. They suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.
5. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
6. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes ever known.
7. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than superman and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.
8. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it’s a recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing powers.
Male1: I think I have Man-Flu?!
Male2: OMG, do we have time to call an Ambulance? I'm so sorry, you will be missed!
Man flu - meaning
An affliction that affects the Y chromosome in the human population. symptoms include delirium, headaches, chronic fatigue, catarrh, severe confusion, sniffles and a bit of a cough. Has been linked to hypochondria though as yet no scientific link has been proved.In the event of a suspected case of Manflu, you are advised to keep the patient hydrated via the normal fluid intake: to wit;usual fluids (water, fruit juice beer and spirits). Fat intake is also recommended to give the patient calorific energy.We recommend protein, carbohydrate, fat in the ratio of 2:4:9.
IN NO CASE should the suspected patient be made to perform any arduous tasks since this will only lead to a relapse if said patient is not ready.
As stated and signed.I.M.Llyere (W.H.O.) European Advisor in Pathogene Studies0.
"MAN FLU man flu" MAN FLU
"MAN FLUman flu"
J.L.P.Smith versus The Government of the U.S.A.
Man flu - definition
''Sick'' but still able to game
brutal throat and chest but can still get a game or 2 in ''Perry's man flu''
Man flu - slang
Also the male equivalent to a woman's fake headache -- though more widely used getting out of bad dates, chick flicks and other woman oriented activities than to avoid sex with the significant other.
"I am pretty sure Don gave me a man flu story because he didn't want to go to Sally's bridal shower with me."
Man flu
term spoken by women, about men exaggerating the severity of a cold
Man: I'm not feeling very well
Woman: Oh, you've got man flu
Man flu
The one week out of the year when a man has a cold, and doesn't feel good, and excercises his right to complain and whine- contrary to every fucking day of a woman's life when we have to hear you complain.
The man flu is usually accompanied by a lack of sympathy from females, which further advances the adverse symptoms of the man flu.
GF: Ugh, BF is so annoying and whiny, all he has is a cold.
BFF: Oh, yeah, the Man Flu.
BF: GOD FORBID you take care of ME for ONE DAY and not complain.
Man flu
The condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.
This is also known as 'Fishing for Sympathy' or 'Chronic Exaggeration'.
When the patient is your boyfriend, he will exhibit the standard symptoms (such as an overwhelming desire for compassion) while simultaneously rejecting any and all efforts you make to placate him.
You: Awww, you poor fella.
Him: I'm DYING!
You: (Soothingly) Oh, you're not dying Cy.
Him: (Indignant) I AM! I have Man Flu!
You: Do you need some sympathy?
Him: Yes! But no one understands my pain...
You: I understa-
Him: NO YOU DO NOT!!!