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What is Suez Canal?
(Verb) The unfortunate situation of taking a massive cargo ship sized poop in someone else toilet and clogging it horizontally. Upon flushing, the huge turd becomes a buoyant floater and then after the flush it spins horizontally thus blocking the toilet hole. A precarious situation because flush after flush accomplishes nothing and using a plunger to break it in half will cause a catastrophic mess. The large poop must me repositioned by hand or cut in half by a high pressure stream of piss.
At Stacy's house party.
Todd: "Hey Brian I need some help. I just Suez Canal(ed) Stacy's toilet and that poop ain't moving."
Brian: "Ooof we better take care of this before one of the girls sees it. That's one hell of a Suez Canal! I'm gonna try to cut it in half with my high pressure piss after drinking these 10 Bud Lights."
Todd: "Thanks so much man! Should we just reposition it by hand or throw it out the window."
Brian: "That's a negative, we might be seen. Also Todd here's a little advice, you should consider wiping when you're at a girls party."
Todd: "Thanks again for the advice man! Let's try to cut this thing in half with piss before someone else shows up!"
Suez Canal - video
Suez Canal - what is it?
When an exceptionally dry and rough piece of poop gets lodged sideways in your rectum, constipating you for several days. This can be made exceptionally worse with the buildup of the runs / Taco Bell liquid shit attempting to vacate your butthole and causing a massive backpressure.
The only acceptable solution is to manually dig to dislodge the sideways piece with your fingers, or have a small team of your family and friends help with the excavation process.
I ate so much fast food last weekend at 3 am that I've got a Suez Canal Crisis on my hands. Nearly popped a blood vessel pushing on it. I'm going to have to go digging to clear the obstruction. Where's my poop knife?
What does "Suez Canal" mean?
When your shit won't flush down, and sits in the bottom of the bowl at an angle.
Leaving stall to next guy in line, "I flushed three times, but it's the Suez Canal in there."