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What is Reuter?
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{Definition}
Reut·ers Cramp (Roit'·ərz-Krămp) NOUN:
1. The sudden and accute optic, occular-motor and cerebral pain (sometimes, with attendant seizures) resulting from reading too many news articles, viewing too many news videos or both, by the news agency Reuters. Usually complicated by the factor of:
The sheer number of articles (in rapid succession) over a short span of time that mention themes, categories or situations (such as "bail-out") that have been over-done and drilled-into-the-ground so often (in the last umpteen weeks/months/years) as to cause instant nausea.
Or (in the case of one isolated incident -- known to THIS lexicographer) reading said news articles less-than 30 minutes after eating 9+ pieces of syrup-drenched baklava.
NOTE: Potential warning signs may include, but are not limitted to:
Drooling, profuse enuresis (sweating,) sticky hands and face with a desire to drink milk or inject insulin and a Herbert Lom -like eye twitch. Post-trauma effects many times include Reader's Block.
WARNING: Reuters Cramp may also happen with the reading of other, non-related, news agencies articles; and may in fact, not even be related to Reuters.
{based-on the stem name "Thomson Reuters" -- "...the world's leading source of intelligent information for businesses and professionals." Although Reuters was first Identified as the offending source; it was quickly realized that it just SEEMED this way due to it's notoriously accurate and continuously up-to-date reporting.
The most likely actual causes are the journalistic professions and news moguls that purvey hyped-up-tripe and over-sensationalized, easily-digestible, candy-coated mega-doses of non-sensical minutia; delivered ad infinitum, ad nauseum by sycophantic reporters, "ratings-whores" producers and the illustious major news corporations that they represent; in a non-stop, streaming frontal-lobe-assault of the general public. However, this is JUST speculation at this time.}
(From Neil & Bob)
Neil: "Hey Bob... ...you up for a little one-on-one?"
Bob: "Sorry Neil. I just got done trying to watch the news; and between the talking multilingual-reporters with closed-captions and sign-language inset, the split-screen dual-infomation panels in the center, the "upcoming news" info-banner at the top just below the advertiser's inset, the sideline FYI commentaries/marginal notes, AND the two different speed stock-tickers at the bottom just above the news-ticker flowing in the opposite direction; I got "Reuters Cramp" and threw-up... ...it's either that or the baklava. One of the two."
Neil: "Hmmm, certainly sounds like "Reuters Cramp" to me, Bob. You may need to rest for a few day and maybe take an insulin shot."
Reuter - meme gif
Reuter - video
Reuter - what is it?
A sarcastic joke or remark; usually used to create a break of comic relief in a conversation.
At first I took him literally, but quickly realized his comment was just a roto-reuter in the conversation.
What does "Reuter" mean?
like omg hes a matthew reuter
Reuter - what does it mean?
"Wait is that Jeremy? No that's Doug Reuter."
Reuter - meaning
When you have been blatantly jewed out of something, usually money, but including forks, ostriches, underpants, regners, bottles, squirrels, DVDs, teddy bears, hippos, Arbor Mist bottles, Easter baskets, lamps (I love lamp!), monkeys, life, episodes of MASH, shirts, cups, books about the IRA, flags, cups again, and the number 11.
"What happened to my book about the IRA?"
"You probably got reutered out of it."
Reuter - definition
a blond haired man who recieves a hot carl, cleavland steamer and a rusty trombone simultaneously.
I was getting together with some friends in sac town and the three of them gave me a reuter,
Reuter - slang
Altering a news photo in Photoshop for the purpose of falsifying or exaggerating a news story. Made famous by news outlet Reuters, who altered a photo of Israeli raids in Beirut to make the strike appear worse than it was by using the clone-stamp tool in Photoshop to enlarge smoke clouds.
That photo can't be real--it's obviously reutered.
Reuter
(v) To create or render so as to mislead, deceive, or defraud others: to reuter a report.
"In the news, George Zimmerman was reutered from a Latino into a white man."
Reuter
Altering a news photo in Photoshop for the purpose of falsifying or exaggerating a news story. Made famous by news outlet Reuters, who altered a photo of Israeli raids in Beirut to make the strike appear worse than it was by using the clone-stamp tool in Photoshop to enlarge smoke clouds.
That photo can't be real--it's obviously reutered.
Reuter
A Reuter can be both an action and a person. The action involves piping a woman from the back, whilst reciting Josh Turner lyrics acting as though you are cleaning or "reutering" her cheeks. The man himself is an almighty God who drives through blizzards and picks up snow bunnies like it's his day job. This man happens to love balance sheets and income statements, and will treat you right while slowly debating whether your ROI is high enough for him.
Good lord almighty, look at that man, he can Reuter me any day.
Have you heard of the new sexy beast that's an accountant? They call him Reuter.