What is Gene Snitsky?

The year is 2033. The world is blanketed in chaos, as the war between man and machine heads toward a frighteningly close nuclear finale. Grown men cower with their women and children, hiding from the soulless creatures that move silently through the night. However, there is one who walks through the huddled masses, unafraid of the robot killers, instilling hope in all he meets. The world knows him as General “Gene” Snitsky, humanity’s last chance in The War To End All Wars. This is his story.

“I have a job to do.” The gruff yet monotone voice echoed throughout the warehouse basement. Unlike most basements, however, this one is made of 3,000 tons of stainless steel and titanium, contains a multitude of high-radiation areas, and has surveillance systems covering every centimeter within 4 miles of the building. Before the hard times hit, the building also had Guinness on tap. Now, only Pabst Blue Ribbon flows through the slowly corroding pipes, but this is not the time for drinking.

“Sir, you’ve established that. But I don’t see how traveling back in time to 2004 helps us in anyway. The machines will use their warheads anytime now, and the window for a preemptive strike is closing more with each passing hour. With all due respect, General, we need you here.” This type of insubordinate backtalk would normally be met by Snitsky’s stiff right hand, but Jeff Hardy was never afraid of taking risks. While not always the smoothest of performers, as Second-in-Command he knew the General better than anyone; one could argue that he existed simply to inspire him. Now around 60 years old, Hardy also knew the stakes were greater than ever, and that he had to ensure things ran smoothly and without error. Yes, at times the very fate of the world rested on Jeff Hardy not blowing spots.

General Snitsky paused for a moment and looked at Jeff’s face, the middle-aged man’s neon green streaks illuminating the near-darkness. Why was there a blacklight in the time machine room anyway? He turned around and put his hands on a nearby table, palms flat as he bowed his head and leaned like a runner unable to catch his breath after a sprint. A heavy sigh escaped his lips; he never thought that, at 28, he would have to explain to a middle-aged former pro wrestler why he was responsible for the downfall of the entire human race. Rubbing his chin, he gathered himself and faced his right-hand man. Yes, he did have a job to do. First the truth, then the sacrifice.

“Jeff, I’m…I’m not who you think I am. You see, you’ve known me for what, 10 years? And to you, I’ve always been General, I’ve always been Snitski. But I haven’t always worn this uniform and these tags…” He gripped the metal around his neck and stood entranced by the inscribed letters. Although it was only ten seconds, when he continued his voiced seemed ten years older. “These tags haven’t always said ‘Snitsky.’ They used to say…” He paused again, this time deliberately. He turned away again, closed his eyes, and lifted his head skyward.

“Jeff, my name used to be…” He swallowed, fighting to say the word. “Kane. I'm the son of the man who murdered your brother."

Give me your free time if you don't ****ing know what to do with it.

-Blackestmage from Gamefaqs

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Gene Snitsky - video

Gene Snitsky - what is it?

Is really a goat in disguise. Vince couldn't get past the panda corperation stealing his letters and ow interjects animals into the ring at opportune moments in time.

Just look at his chin, his limited vocabulary, his contorted torso due to needing to stand on his hind legs. The eveidence is all there.

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What does "Gene Snitsky" mean?

Baby punting, steroid abusing, goofy-looking betch.

Also see: John Heidenreich

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Gene Snitsky - what does it mean?

New RAW superstar. He caused the death of Lita's baby and he looks fucked up just like Kane.

Gene Snitsky is my hero.

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Gene Snitsky - meaning

Wrestler who descended from the heavens to die for our sins and end crappy storylines.

And on the 7th day Snitsky spoke "It's not my fault!"

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Gene Snitsky - definition

He will probably eliminate me for revealing his true identity, but Gene Snitsky is actually a mobile TMD Unit manufactored somewhere in a secret army installation in Pennsylvania. He was allowed to enter the WWE as a professional wrestler on the basis that he not reveal himself. However, his first interview gave him away, and I don't think I was the only one to notice. The monotone voice, the "Sorry JR but my sensors indicate that it was not my fault" (what he meant to say) was a sure fire giveaway. Suspicions were increased further by a recent Monday Night Raw episode where Snitsky got in the ring and proceeded to robot dance. Snitsky is very defensive about his true idenity and one should be very carefull when using the term "robot" or anything close to it.

JR - Snitsky is in the ring robot dancing!
(Snitsky stops dancing and gets very serious.)
Snitsky - Are you calling me a robot?
JR - No I'm just saying you were doing the robot.
Snitsky - What's it to you?
(Stinger missiles appear out of his back.)
JR - Uhhhh nothing?
Snitsky - Exactly.

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