|
|
What is ESPN?
A network that shuns the best sport in the world, hockey, and obsesses over the worst league in the world, the NBA. And also obsesses over the stupidest things for the LONGEST time (ie. penn st, tebow, jeremy lin, NFL in general)
"And now ESPN's top plays, or should i say top play, because it's the same dunk over and over that we have all seen hundreds of times before."
ESPN - meme gif
ESPN - video
ESPN - what is it?
Entertainment (and) Sports Programming Network
Like MTV and MTV2, there is ESPN and there is ESPN2.
What does "ESPN" mean?
A sports channel owned by Disney. Takes all their shit too far and when they're too butthurt over Favre, the Yankees, or anything in the MLB, then they won't show highlights when they are suppose to. Sportscenter is cheap too. They give it that ghetto like flavor because somehow they believe their main demographic is black street thugs. When they spew shit from their mouths the most, it's from the rigged championship games, and don't inform if they really were cheating because they hold bias opinions and like to show them off in an arrogant way (ex: the Steelers). Many athletes plan to sue ESPN for humilating them and for how much they can't report and anchor for caca.
ESPN anchor: Phillies win the World Series! Oh my god! Yes! Let's go and cover this for like 3 weeks.
Viewer: 3 weeks! The postseason only lasted for ONE week. Plus baseball sucks. *changes channel and eventually flips back tp ESPN where it shows the anchorman raping Favre*
ESPN Anchor: Uh, OH NO!
Favre: *girly scream*
ESPN - what does it mean?
What Used To Be "Entertainment Sports Programming Network", Now Primarily A Daytime Soap Featuring A Grammy-Nominated Cast Of Rich Athelets
-----------------ESPN------------------
featuring...
Tiger Woods.........as Tony The Whiner
Barry Bonds.........as Cheating Charlie
Alex Rodriguez......as Crying Companion
T.O.................as Mr. Selfabsorbed
LeBron James........as 4 Guys Living Together
Brett Favre.........as Marsha
ESPN - meaning
A 24 hour a day, 7 day a week fellatio fest for Boston, New York, and Barry Bonds.
Somebody just hit 8 home runs in one World Series game, but first, the latest on Barry Bonds' hangnail, plus the Red Sox and the Yankees tee times here on ESPN!
ESPN - definition
Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network
Formally know as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, they offically changed their names to Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network when they decided to focus on two MLB teams, the Red Sox and Yankees. Their main headlines usually include:
*Manny being Manny
*Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez
*MANNY TRADED TO THE LA DODGERS
*David Ortiz hits Homerun Number (insert #)
*David Ortiz eats burger number (insert #)
*A-Rod and Madonna???
*A-Rod and Jeter breaks up with Madonna rumors.
*Joba Chamberlain as a possible Cy Young Candidate (No Joke, actually real)
With the occasional headlines of:
Evan Longoria
Tiger Woods
Brett Farve
Evan Longoria
The New York Mets
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
LA Dodgers (only because Manny is there)
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
MLB News
Subscribe
* MLB eyeing instant replay as early as late August
* Oblique puts Lowell on DL | Red Sox top Rangers
* After fouling ball off foot, Jeter sits | Yanks lose
* Cubs sweep Braves by combined score of 18-2
* Crawford opts for hand surgery | TB-OAK Live
* A's third baseman Chavez has shoulder surgery
* Quentin sits out, but balanced ChiSox top Royals
* Sheffield says he's not expecting trade | Tigers fall
* Rumor Central: Rays making push for Aurilia? Insider
Four Yankees/Red Sox headlines in the top 5 from ESPN website 8/13/08
ESPN - slang
Eastern Sports and Propaganda Network
Everytime I turn on ESPN they are talking about the Yankees or Patriots or Red Sox or some other gay east coast team, as if the west coast does not exist.
ESPN
Entertainment, Sports, and Poker Network
Used to indicate the amount of poker on ESPN nowadays.
I am watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN.
ESPN
Expert Signaling Psychic Neurosis
ESPN is shared between two very close people and occurs when they think of the same things at the same time.
Kerstan - "What do you think of rats?"
Angelica and Kerstan - "They're nasty."
Angelica - "ESPN? I think so!"
ESPN
Adj. Something which is incredibly overplayed and overdramatized.
Up next on ESPN, completely unfounded speculation regarding the motives of Brett Favre returning to the NFL, followed by a six hour discussion comparing Favre with current Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Then we'll take you live to Brett Favre's home where we will watch him eat cheetos while watching television.