Definder - what does the word mean?

What is why am I not dead?

Bc u haven’t found the right time to die

Me: why am I not dead like u really wanna die rn
My brain: BUUUT u could die next time someone gets mad at u like they get mad at u THEEEN go off all depressed and shit AND THEEEEN write a super dramatic note abt ur depression and shit AND THEEEN die and um ya know like guilt and shit but ya

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why am I not dead - video

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