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What is turd courier?
A person who carriers a human shit through customs in his or her suitcase.
The shit is produced at the end of the victims 18-30 holiday as he or she prepares to fly home. The turd is placed into another tourist's packed suitcase (in a plastic bag or dropped directly) without their prior knowledge. The suitcase is then be zipped back up and nothing more will be said by the perpetrator until the unsuspecting victim has reclaimed their luggage and left for the airport.
"That bitch has fucked me up on this holiday - she's going to be my turd courier."