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What is total douche?
A total douche is a phrase used to define a douchebag who has done a douchebaggish thing to you, personally. It's a synonym for douchebag but total douche has a lighter feel to it and it's not as serious. It's more often than not used when talking about a person when they're not around.
That ass thinks he's always the shit around me. He's a total douche.
That bitch fired me for no reason. What a total douche.