What is tonnes?

"Pl~U~tonic" is often mistaken for "pl~A~tonic" whereby respective individuals are attracted but conscientiously abstain from sex.
Sooo ironically, a "Pl~U~tonic" relationship is one whereby the respective individuals shag each other crazy until too sore to continue!?!

Perfect examples of a "Pl~U~tonic" relationship are:

- when a couple meet, share Acorn coffee & are respectively topless & pantless in bed within 30 mins, soon massaging, then kissing & after passing out wake with her hands on his erect penis & proceed to fuck immediately

- directly after drinking too many milk based beverages & gorging respectively on steak & pancakes, the female follows the male home, clothes are magically but fortuitously removed & they fuck immediately; OR where the female proceeds directly to their own home but cannot shake the building desires that engross her every thought & eventually (within 48 hours is acceptable) invites the male over for Acorn coffee but really has the single, overwhelming need to fuck immediately, which of course happens in her "Princess & the Pea" 3 mattress bed

Generally, where a woman uses the word "Pl~U~tonic" it is purposeful & done so to basically advise the male "yeah, I'm dying to fuck the 'friend' out of you, lets lock it in for sometime soon though, OK!"

The word "Pl~U~tonic" is NEVER used by males except where referring to a situation where a female has used the word towards him...

Female (usually smoking hot & gagging for it!): "Let's not have sex & be "Plutonic (ploo-tonn-ick)" friends, OK"
Male: (says) "OK"
Male: (thinks) "I read ya 110%, you're not gonna shag my brains out (say) in my car while I drive around pretending to not find your car, but definitely soon"

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tonnes - meme gif

tonnes - video

Tonnes - what is it?

Unit of measurement.
Built upon the Old English term "shit load", which is very lacking in actual measurable significance, a Metric Fuck Tonne is a significantly more accurate. Easily identified with the abbreviation FT, a Metric Fuck Tonne is greater than one may care to measure. Most commonly used to describe weight which is clearly no less than one thousand kilograms, but when actual measurement has not taken place. Not to be confused with the antiquated, Imperial Fuck Tonne.

James: "I just couldn't get the fire to take, I think the wood was still green, so I threw a fuck tonne of petrol on and off it went!"

Frank: "Was that a imperial fuck tonne James?"

James: "Great question Frank - It was definitely one Metric Fuck Tonne"

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What does "tonnes" mean?

Grossly oversized quantity.
Unfathomable in most circumstances.

"I love you an epic fuck tonne Richard"
"Charlene drank an epic fuck tonne last night"

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Tonnes - what does it mean?

Where by large women are slept with by competing men for the sake of sport.

A race to 2200 lbs. (5 or more participating males needed; each one individually trying to reach the 2200 lb mark first)

The maximum number of girls you can have sex with to reach the goal of the One Tonne Challenge is 10. On average this would be 220 lbs each. Relations with over 10 females to reach the 2200 lb goal will result in disqualification.

You can divide your females up as you wish in order to reach the weight goal.

Eg. If you go under weight on some, say 180 lbs, you will have to compensate with a larger girl to even out, say 26o lbs.

The first person to reach the weight goal, while keeping their number of companions to under 10 is declared the winner.

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Tonnes - meaning

Noun: An extremely large amount of something, unto absurdity.

Generally used in hyperbole.

Note: proper usage demands the British spelling of "tonne" becuse the extra letters are also absurd.