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What is smoked pork?
The large masses of humanity that sit outside fast food chains because they have a craving for a cigarette. Usually their face has a grim pallor with assorted zits; some in zig zag formation. You can often see them blowing out smoke rings and talking with another piece of smoked pork about how their boyfriends left them dazed and confused resulting in long drawn out speeches about why their boyfriends left them dazed and confused.. repeat process.
Child: Daddy! Why is she tearing her hair out?
Father: Oh don't worry she's smoked pork, we don't associate our young children with them, now remember to cover your eyes!
Child (frustrated): Awh dad!