|
|
What is Vista?
When Bill Gates went batshit. See useless.
Honestly, this pile of shite won't run for longer than 10 minutes without crashing or dimming your screen for a window that says "OMG YOU JUST MOVED YOUR MOUSE ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS". NOTHING is compatible with it. Unless you have shitloads of ram and an epic processor, stick with XP. IF you have shitloads of ram and an epic processor, stick with XP. Also, stfu linux fanboys, where's your .exe's? ;) INSTALL FROM THE COMMAND LINE, LEET
Person 1 (Fanboy): OMG LOOK AT HOW SLEEK AND AMAZING VISTA IS
Person 2 (Common sense): It looks nice but it's unreliable as fuck.
Person 1 (Fanboy): STFU ITS AMAZING IT CAME OUT AFTER XP SO IT MUST BE GOOD.
Person 2 (Common sense): No, it's useless.
Vista - meme gif
Vista - video
Vista - what is it?
A great big fucking view of awesome shit.
Keith: "Now there's a nice vista for the boys!"
Tom: "Wow, that's fucking awesome!"
Mike (as he reaches for his phone): " Instagraaaam!"
What does "Vista" mean?
The Next P.O.S. Operating System from Microsoft. Formerly Code Named 'Long Horn'.
Windows (L)User:"Hey Dude, After using XP for so long I can't wait to experience Vista!"
Linux User:"It's still going to be Shit; You should use Linux."
Windows (L)User:"But Microsoft Vista Is gonna have neato things like "Virtual Folders", whatever those are. Sounds Technical! I want to use it."
Linux User:"...WTF? STFU!"
Vista - what does it mean?
An OS made by Microsoft that has more errors and malfunctions than XP, their previous OS, but can be set to be cooler-looking (although chances are that your graphics card won't be able to run MS Word with the transparency and stuff turned on).
It would be better than Leopard in terms of what it can do, if it could only do those things without crashing as much as it does. Whether or not it's prettier than Leopard is debatable, but it doesn't really matter, because it's a computer program, not a piece of art. It really comes down to this: if you have a LOT patience, get Vista. If you don't want to actually do things with your computer, get Leopard. Of course, the choice is really this: get something pretty, like Vista or Leopard, or get something that works, i.e. XP.
Ted: Hey, I just got Vista today. It's got pretty colors.
Fred: I have OSX. It's like Vista, except it doesn't crash.
Jack: I have XP. I can do things with it, AND it doesn't crash when I do.
Ted: Well... Are your windows transparent?
Jack: No, but I can open them without crashing my computer.
Fred: Is your monitor 42" and pretty? Does it contain your, uh, vidja card, and C-poo?
Jack: No, my monitor fits through doorways, and I can upgrade my computer.
Vista - meaning
A terminal illness of windows
Vista -
see: Blue screen
Vista - definition
This is used to describe any computer-based software which is poorly designed; with countless software bugs and poor performance in general. Particularly inherent to this quality is the software company's inability to fix reproducible software bugs on a timely basis or even acknowledge them; furthermore, shifting the blame on 3rd party software developers for the problems seen in the software.
Most Logitech products (particularly their newer webcams) are just like Vista.
Vista - slang
noun...
1) Microsoft's latest - and perhaps last - major operating system upgrade (unless you count its legendary "service packs" as upgrades)
2) A not so clever copy of Apple Mac's operating system
3) The latest evidence that Bill Gates is losing his grip on sanity
4) A bizarre suicidal move that may be recalled by future generations as "Hasta la Vista, Microsoft"
verb...
1) To self-destruct
2) To copy another software program
noun...
The Seattle Mafia may celebrate Vista, but most people around the world regard it as a mechanical version of George W. Bush.
verb...
Bill Gates: Shall we Vista another Mac program, or shall we try our hand at innovation this time around?
Vista
Surpassing XP, Vista will be the world's largest and most powerful computer virus. It's Codename is Longhorn, and it is manufactured by the Beast of Redmond aka Microsoft. It will try to lure people in to buying the overly priced piece of shit by stealing transparancy ideas from Mac OSX and making secure command lines similar to Linux. It will only work with certain "security enabled" monitors, so most home users will have to upgrade (again) and some notebook users will be fucked. I have a AMD 64 3200+ with 2 gigs of ram and an 80 gb HDD and I am still running Win2k, although Debian is my main weapon of choice. Vista is already undergoing numerous trademark lawsuits, and it will be replacing NTFS with WinFS, which means support for the FAT's may decline.
late 2006/ early 2007
Me: What's that cd you haave there?
noob: Windows Vista.
Me: What is your primary computer use?
noob: h4xorng!!!!!!!!!!! and web surfing. t3h 1337.
Me: *breaks CD*. You will be fine with this. *Hands him win3.11 cd.
noob: N0!!!!!!!!!!!
Vista
Vista is a funny, thick, pretty & caring person. She might be a annoying but if you get to know her well you’ll see she’s great. Vista’s will treat her boyfriend with respect and love. If you ever meet a Vista, hold on to her and don’t let go.
Person 1- Do you have a friend like Vista?
Person 2- No, i wish.
Person 1- You should find one.
Person 2-Thats gonna be really hard, but i’ll try.
Vista
Microsoft's suicide attempt, after years of grueling research Microsoft's top engineers determined that combining extremely expensive OS prices, too many damn versions with all except ultimate being crippled in some way, shitty compatibility, an OS with a "pretty GUI" resulting in a resource black hole which in turn cost people more money to upgrade only to discover that despite upgrading to the largest amount of memory and most expensive Processor, that due to it's being modeled on black hole physics their computers are no faster than before, they also made sure to make it difficult to use and find things, included a user agony and cruelty infliction system(commonly known as UAC), and decided that to truly piss off admins that even when running as administrator you aren't truly administrator.
Microsoft Engineer1: The tests results from the beta testers for vista are in: anger, frustration, and incidences of user on computer violence are up 300%.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.