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What is Twilight Saga?
The crazy shit that goes down after dark in the projects when the crackheads start creepin'.
"Dude let's get the fuck outta here. The twilight saga is beginning."
Twilight Saga - video
Twilight Saga - what is it?
A generally addicting and well written, but extremely cliche series by Stephanie Meyer.
The four books in order are: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. The saga has been a sensation amoung teenage girls.
Here is my run-down of the series:
Twilight: A plain and clumsy teenage girl named Bella moves to a small town called Forks were no plotline exists. There all the guys in town fall in love with our not so pretty protagonist(????)Anyways Bella meets the town hottie, Edward who (guess what) is a vampire. (But don't be misled, he's not allergic to garlic bread and dosn't spontaneosly combust when you put him in the sun.)In fact he has no fangs, sparkles, and can be seen in a mirror. Edward himself, who diets on animal blood, is quite lacking in personality for a hundred year old emortal. He is descirbed as being God-like and generally perfect. Oh yes, and aparently Bella smells yummy. In summary the first book is a lot of Edward saying "Stay away from me I'm a monster!" And Bella Saying "No I love you!"
New Moon: Edward leaves Bella for her "own good" so Bella turns emo. She begins to hang out with her friend Jacob who of course turns out to be a werewolf. Bella is extremely clingy and Jacob falls for her, but of course Bella can't live without Edward and rather then seeing a therapist, resorts to throwing herself off of cliffs. Edward beleiving she's dead, tries to get himself killed by the vampire mofia. In the end they become a couple again and no one dies.
Eclipse: Bella can't pick between Edward and Jacob, so the whole story becomes a sick love-triangle. Oh yes and some vampires want to kill Bella again so it becomes epic. Then Bella picks Edward, the end.
Breaking Dawn: Wow. So Edward and Bella get married, then they go to a private island and have oodles of sex, which resorts in torn up pillows and broken head boards. Then we find out Bella is pregnant with a rapidly growing mutant demon baby. Cute. So anyways the baby basically beats up Bella from the inside and drinks blood as a fetus. Then for several chapters Jacob takes over narration and complains a lot. Finally Bella gets a c-section that Edward performs with his teeth, and she becomes a vampire. And after it seems it can't become anymore disturbing Jacob imprints (falls in love) with the mutant baby named Renesmee. Long story short the vampire mofia wants to kill the baby which resorts in a very anti-climactic meeting. And the saga ends with Bella and Edward having more vampire sex. The end.
The books are so popular they have begun to make them into movies, and many teenage girls are swooning for the fictional character Edward. The Twilight saga has created a very large fandom.
The Twilight Saga is over-rated.
I love the Twilight Saga!
What does "Twilight Saga" mean?
You have to get over the "sparkles in sunlight means not a real vampire" obsession and look past the lameocity of the story line. Really the vampire thing is just for a climax.
Teenage girl's who want to save themselves for marriage need to get off too.
It doesn't matter how cliche it ends up being on the teenage romance junky story line, there's a few crucial less failure points. Oh doesn't it make the teenage virgins go wild. Why are your panties getting wet? You've got orgasm.
Almost completely not cliche themes:
1. The average love-struck teenager novel ends up being the "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from cheating on you" reaction: want to vomit up ravioli. Twilight puts a twist to the average teenage romance "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from peircing you with my teeth and sucking your blood till there is only a suringe full left then I will shoot it up and stay high off you till my eye's turn black again. Reaction: triggers minor acid reflex, still tastes better than ravioli vomit.
2. Other teenage love-triangle novels use terms such as "I'm going to shoot your boyfriend in the head to earn your love. Friggen Loser I'll beat him. Let's have babies."
Twilight's Twist: "I'm going to rip off your boyfriend's head with my teeth and continue to mouth rape his stone flesh until he is in a few major pieces then insert them into the bon-fire as my tribe tells stories of our ancestor's doing the same to the other bastards of his clan. All to earn your love. Friggen Lice I'll treat him. Let's have puppies."
3. When the average girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend little preparation involved shaved legs, new allegedly sexy scent here and there then she lays down on the bed and finally lets him in between her legs "I just stole my sister's birth control *wink wink*" all he has to say is "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you. You're positive? Okay."
Twilight Version: When a Twilighted girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend she has to be coniving and convincing to seduce him. Maybe a little papercut here or a bloody popped zit there. "I just started my period wanna taste *wink wink*?" But all he's ever interested in is souls. "I've killed people so if I want to have any chance of getting into Heaven I need to save myself until marriage."
These non-failure, hardly cliche at all themes and many more can be found in 700 out of 3,000 pages of the Twilight Saga.
Twilight Saga - what does it mean?
The quest of one teenage girl's tough, life changing decision between necrophilia and beastiality.
1. Bella: "I love to have sex with furry werewolves, but the marble-cold skin of the undead has an appeal all of its own. Whatever shall I do?"
Non-fan: "Kill yourself and end the Twilight Saga?"
Bella: "I'm gonna go with the gay one."
Non-fan: "Both?"
Twilight Saga - meaning
1. A Pile of Shit.
2. Bad, Bad, stories that give you nightmares about sparkly Vampires and shapeshifting werewolves.
3. Cause of a disease called 'Twiharditis' that creates obsession for a overly dramatic sex life, suicidal thoughts and the belief that there is a 108 year old Peado-Vampire-God that will love them forever. The cure is to lock them in a cold, white room for 200 hours, make them watch and read Harry Potter on the go (but not GoF film adaptation, in fear of a relapse at the sight of Cedric) and mak them come to their senses. If this does not work, starve them and read Harry Potter and the Hunger Games out loud continuosly. They should see the erroe of their ways, and return to normal.
If not, KILL THEM. Its the only cure.
Person 1: Wow, I love the Twilight Saga, its so good!
Person 2: OMG, die.
Twilight Saga - definition
This saga of books was derived from Stephanie Meyer's sick twisted fantasies, as admitted by the author herself. This book involves the following
-Two people falling in love purely for looks
-lack of character dynamics
-a creepy abusive vampire being accepted as an ideal boyfriend
-Vampires being portrayed as blood-thirsty fairies
-lack of knowledge of the difference between a ware wolf and an Animagus
-A Mary Sue who seems to know NOTHING about anything around her.
-lack of basic knowledge of chromosomes
Half of the paragraphs only talk about edward's eyes, and the other half are blunt, dull actions written out with overused words. This book seems to support necrophelia, pedophelia, and suicidal actions being taken because someone broke up with you.
In other words, don't read this book. And all the thumbs down for this are twilight fangirls who think they know everything.
Person1: have you read the Twilight Saga?
Person2: No, I read harry potter. JK Rowling actually knows something about magic and mythical creatures and relationships.
IE2
Retard 1: I just wrote a book based on my sexual fantasy
Retard 2: Great, another twilight saga.
Retard 1: Actually, I know what a vampire is, and I know ware wolves don't change at will and forgot who they really are. Besides, I don't even have those characters.
Retard 2: I guess that's okay.
Twilight Saga - slang
the twilight saga was Stephenie Meyers way of trying to indoctrinate little girls minds by building them up with false hope i.e. an 'edward cullen', and making them go all hypified so that no guys will ever find a 'normal' girl.
thanks stephenie, for the twilight saga. how about next time you write a book with a much more moral meaning and take over the world with that? lets start with a book on healthy eating perhaps???
Twilight Saga
A girl's tragic decision between necrophilia or bestiality
A Summary of the ENTIRE Twilight Saga:
Damn! Do I want the ice cold, over controlling, soulless creature of night, or the super hairy wolf thing? The vampire! No, the werewolf! No, the vampire! No, BOTH!
Twilight Saga
~~~Twilight Saga~~~
Bella: I love you Edward!
Edward: I want to drink your blood.
Bella: I still love you.
Edward: Jesus Christ.
Twilight Saga
A book series by Stephenie Meyer. Probably infact the worse books in the history of time. These books are about sparkling vampires with a special power (By vampire I actually mean blood sucking pixie) and shapeshifters (Wolves).
It is a far fetched book about a girl named Isabella (Bella) Swan of about of seventeen that falls in love in a whiny, controlling, pedophile, stalker by the name of Edward Cullen. That is all you need to know about that.
In New Moon Edward leaves Bella "to keep her safe" or some shit. She ends up falling for Jacob Black (The leader wolf man, guy, person, whatever) also. It's funny, though. She claims she loves Eddie but yet she falls in love with Jake. In New Moon Bella pretty much thinks she can hear Edward by doing idiotic and reckless things. Such like jumping off a cliff and almost drowning. And she complains about this "hole" in her chest through out the book. So on, Alice and Bella run off to Italy to find Mr. Ed, blah. He comes back and propose to Bella. However, she doesn't really give him an answer until like the end of Eclipse, or something.
Eclipse pissed me off. And they turned Bella into a horny bitch at the end. And turned Jacob into a pig. I have NOTHING to say about it, only that is sucks and you shouldn't read it.
Breaking Dawn was really corny. Bella ends up getting pregnant with Eddie's child. The Pregnancy went fast. Killing Bella slowly as it grows inside her, blah, blah. She thinks she will have a boy. Named EJ (Edward Jacob) but ends up as a girl. She names her a retarted name that sounds like a disease (Renesmee). Heres a trippy moment. Jacob imprints on her. He gives her the nickname Nessie. (The nickname for the Loch Ness Monster.) Some failed battle at the end with the Vultori. I believe only one person died. It was pretty stupid.
Yeah, these books are a waste of time. D: If you like them you obviously have horrible taste.
The Twilight Saga ~~~~
-Twilight-
Bella - Hi.
Edward - Hi... You smell very etible.
Bella - Thanks.
Edward - I watch you when you sleep.
Bella - How flattering.
Edward - I love you.
Bella - Cool, me too.
Edward - *Plays baseball*
James - You brought a snack! >:D
Edward - *Growls*
Bella - *Gets bitten*
Edward - NUUUEEEE! -Sucks venom out-
Bella - :D
-New Moon-
Edward - I'm leaving now
Bella - Bye. I'll just sit here and be useless for a while.
Edward - Cool.
(Months later.)
Jacob - *Turns into a wolf*
Bella - Huh?
Jacob - HYPOCRITE!
(Moments later)
Bella - Edward!!! No!!!!
Edward - Oh, look, we're both alive. Amazing.
Bella - Yup.
Edward - Marry me?
Bella - Nope.
-Eclipes-
Edward - I love you
Bella - I love you, but I love jacob, too.
Jacob - Rawr.
Edward - *Censored*?!
-Breaking Dawn-
Bella - *Marries Edward*
Edward - Score!!
Bella - *Get's pregnant*
Edward - OH NOE! D:
Jacob - Wtf?
Bella - *Has baby*
Jacob - *Inprintes on Renesmee-
Bella - *Turns into a vampire*
Edward - Woooooo! *Takes Bella hunting*
*Vorturi attacks*
Edward - D: *Takes Aros hand*
Aro - I see. We'll kill you now.
Bella - NUUUE!!!!!
THE END!