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What is Square one mall?
Square One Mall is the most depressing shopping mall on earth located in Saugus, Massachusetts.
Some stores that you can shop at are Macy’s which only old white women and overweight Hispanic women shop at, there’s also a furniture section that people forget that exists so it’s a great napping spot! The GameStop is so small that you can smell the cum stain and Doritos from the employees and customers that frequent it. There’s also Dick’s Sporting Goods that the only customers are middle aged black men with their kids. There’s also Sears that’s somehow still in business! Newbury comics that are frequented by obese blue haired virgins with daddy’s issues and don’t let it come to you as a shocker that they might be gay too!
The food court has had a family of pigeons that have been stuck there for the past 10 years with no hope to get out. You might notice the giant empty space in the middle of the food court that you would assume would be space for people to eat at which it was once, but the chairs were not removed due to COVID-19, but for the fact that too many people were fighting over chairs.
Some minor notes
The Disney store caught on fire once.
Lids sold drugs to minors.
The rat infestation.
The shitty pretzel place.
The cool but depressed employees.
Santa blocks that accidentally spelled satan.
Person 1: “Fuck man I was trying to shoot up some heroin in the furniture section at Macy’s that I got from Lids, but some pigeons from the food court came in and made me accidentally drop it”
Person 2: “That’s what you get for going to the Square One Mall.”