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What is Smashmatic 4000?
A machine that only crushes cars that Yuppies drive. Will not accept cars that are sweet and are driven by Bad-Asses. Invented by John Champlain while channeling information from the planet Febulonious. Replaced the Smashmatic 3000 which although bad ass and sweet was in fact crushed by the Smashmatic 4000.
Redneck 1: Godamnit! Why won't the Smashmatic 4000 crush my late model Buick Riviera!?
Redneck 2: It's too bad ass. Here, try feeding it this Chevy Cobalt.
Redneck 1: Damn your right, I bet he'll eat a Ford Fusion too!
Redneck2: Yep, but let him enjoy the Cobalt, and hey he doesn't really like to be watched while he's crushing.
Redneck 1: ::turns away::
Smashmatic 4000 - video
