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What is Pitchfork Media?
The one music review website on the internet where the reviews are at least semi-tolerable. This is due to the fact that they're not being written by thirteen year olds (like on Absolutepunk) or by 40 year olds who only listen to top 40 radio (like Rolling Stone) but by actual WRITERS. Indie kids like to shit all over Pitchfork because they give bad reviews to bad music with no exceptions and only hypes bands that are too obscure to name drop to strangers you met at the Anberlin show.
Indie Kid: I can't believe Pitchfork Media gave the new Death Cab for Cutie album a 6/10 but gave some twat named Vampire Weekend a 9/10!
Sensible person: Have you ever even listened to Vampire Weekend?
Indie Kid: Well, I haven't seen them on Fuse yet.