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What is Guildford bearded lady?
A living legend resident in the Surrey town of Guildford. She is often seen sitting on benches in a leopard print coat. She has long flowing white hair which matches her similarly long flowing white beard. She allegedly eats children but as of yet there is no solid evidence.
Tourist: Holy shit it's a woman with a beard!!
You: No thats the Guildford bearded lady you disrespectful fuck.
Tourist: Oh my god!! Where's my baby gone?!