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What is touch the rim?
1. The seemingly main goal of short, unathletic white dudes when they play basketball. For some reason, they believe the ability to touch the rim will somehow turn them into better players and/or add some credibility to their weak ass game.
2. The sure signal, when having sex, that the woman’s anus is about to get penetrated by finger, penis or foreign object.
3. Something you never want to happen to any of your sexual organs whilst taking a dump in a public restroom.
1. i) Kid: “Coach, I know I blew that layup and cost us the game but I totally touched the rim when I missed. I swear to God, I felt the iron on my fingertip.”
Coach: “Get the fuck out of my sight you useless piece of turd”
ii) Frankie Muniz on Punk’d (thinking he’d just seriously been offered a role in a basketball movie): “Dude, I’d be great in a basketball movie, I can almost touch the rim dude. Seriously dude, ask my agent, I’m like totally close to touching the rim dude. I’ve been practising touching the rim. I rule dude.”
2. i) “Although we were just doing it doggy-style, as soon as Shirley felt my spit-covered finger touch the rim, she knew she’d soon be getting my cock rammed up her sweaty ass.”
ii) "Turning round to see the large metal wrench in my hand about to touch her rim, Tammy was alerted to the fact that being kidnapped and tied up was not the worst thing to happen to her this evening."
3. Patient: “When I sat down to take a shit in that bus station toilet, the tip of my dick touched the rim and now it’s turned green and burns like hell when I take a piss.”
Doctor: “Hmm, are you sure you haven’t just been screwing African bitches?”