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What is real Communism?
A form of government that has never been implemented in all of human history.
All governments that have claimed to be communist, were led by communists and have functioned in a manner consistent with communist idealology were not real communist governments.
This is because they invariably fail (typically in a truly dramatic fashion) and in a true communist society, no one is allowed to fail (except the grain harvest).
This results in a form of communist duality, whereby a state is only communist when it is successful and is retroactively stripped of the label when it ultimately fails. These failures are usually explained away as being the result of intervention from foreign capitalists, the CIA or any other bogeyman that deflects from the absolute failure of the communist state. These deflections are usually an example of Stalin's law.
Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear Venuzuela collapsed? Typical communist government"
Guy 2: "Venuzuela wasn't real communism."
Guy 1: "Remind me, what is real communism?"
Guy 2: *error 404*