Definder - what does the word mean?

What is maintenance?

Periodic phone calls placed to one's significant other when out for a prolonged period of time (eg 4 hours or more) with friends. The periodic phone call is intentionally structured to prevent a blow-up or fight after the outing is concluded, which would invariably take ten times longer to resolve that the time to place a brief check-in call.

"Hey, let me put in a maintenance call to my woman, before we go into the bar."

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maintenance - meme gif

maintenance meme gif

maintenance - video


Maintenance - what is it?

The basic things one needs to do to keep life flowing smoothly along. May include, but not limited to: laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning (of refrigerator, bathroom, kitchen), paying bills.

"What'cha doin' Saturday?"
"Gotta do some life maintenance. Fridge is empty and laundry basket is full."

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What does "maintenance" mean?

The fine art of bludgeoning an electronic device in order to encourage it to work properly. Vigorous usage of this technique often renders said device permanently nonfunctional.

My goddamned monitor was flickering until I used some percussive maintenance; now it's totally dead and Help Desk is bringing me a new one.

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Maintenance - what does it mean?

When you got to clear the weeds, release some finely aged fluids, wax and lube up the shaft.

Person A: Hey bro you free tomorrow?
Person B: Naw bro I got shaft maintenance!

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Maintenance - meaning

Spirits generally mixed with some sort of fruit juice and normally consumed in the late morning and/or early afternoon to help alleviate a particularly nasty hangover. Standard versions include Vodka/Cranberry, Screwdrivers, left over Hard Seltzers, and of course the Danimal. Also known as a Breakfast Cocktail when in Maui, a Maintenance Cocktail is essential for anyone who needs to rally and is eager to start working on the next day’s hangover.

Dave: Woof, I think we went a little overboard on the Peach Daiquiris last night..

Yoko: That’s why I stuck with white wine all night like a boss.

Dave: Good for you. I need to screw my head back on with a Maintenance Cocktail. Pass me the Gin and Tang.

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Maintenance - definition

When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.

Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."

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Maintenance - slang

An event which is not actually maintenance, but a form of destruction or demolition.

"The building was undergoing 'crowbar maintenance'. It was rubble by the next day."

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Maintenance

in reference to a hand-job, (aka handie)
handy-man does mantenance.

we couldn't fuck because her mom was awake in the next room, so i let her give me some maintenance.

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Maintenance

when a maintenance associate is doing their actual duty.

"Manuel can maintenize like no otha motha when it comes to fixing things."

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Maintenance

The time that someone takes for the appearance to get ready

how long does it take for you to get ready? are you high maintenance?

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