|
|
What is liverpool?
a liverpool is a mass congragation of violently masterbating soccor hoolighans shouting loudly
{liverpool} " i got caught in a massive liverpool and left burised and sticky and deaf"
liverpool - meme gif
liverpool - video
Liverpool - what is it?
A complete hellhole. A town full of sordid, tango-tanned scrubbers and thick, ignorant, aggressive scallies. If you've ever seen the Burt Reynolds film 'Deliverance you'll have some idea what these people are like. These slackjawed, shaven-headed morons (otherwise known as 'friendly, witty scousers') are amongst the most violent and bigoted people on the planet. If you have the misfortune to live here ( and I do), for god's sake don't show any individuality, and try not to be from an ethnic background because they'll very probably kill you. Laughably this dump was awarded 'European City of Culture' for 2008, notwithstanding the fact that its so-called 'culture' consists of the 'Beatles' who left here in 1963 and never came back, and some of the worst clubs on earth playing the cretinous 'scouse-house'. Here are some tips for fitting in if you have the bad luck to end up here. These tips should ensure survival:
1. wear a tracksuit (women may wear pyjamas)
2. shave your head (women should be bottle blond)
3. develop a guttural whine (both sexes)
4. gob on the floor frequently (experts recommend at least every 10 steps) (both sexes)
5. try not to finish a sentence without using the F word at least fourteen times (again, both sexes)
6. steal anything that isn't nailed down
7. talk in an extremely loud voice (as you're so 'witty' everyone will want to hear your opinions)
8. glare at everyone in a threatening manner, especially students, 'goths' and anyone perceived to be'gay'
9. Call anyone not wearing a tracksuit 'gay' then beat them up
10. tell everyone how 'scousers are the friendliest people in the world aren't they though?'
The earth has to have an arse and Liverpool is it.
What does "liverpool" mean?
Boss city, shame about the scallies. Fuckin dozy-arse bastards that they are. Oh well. Love the place otherwise. Good music scene (and no, I don't mean The Coral and all them shite bands).
Eyyy laaaaaaaa, gizz a bifter kidderrrrrrrr! A'm pyarrrrr buzzin off deez eckies!!!
Liverpool - what does it mean?
A football Club. It is supported by a bunch of 'glory boys' from the late '80's and other times when the club was actually any good. Few of the players are English, none of them have a brain and the manager is foreign. The supporters are trendies
Hes a trendy scallie liverpool supporter is Kev. What a glory boy.. shame they are rubbish now and he isn't from Liverpool
Liverpool - meaning
A city that likes to boast about how culturally important it is, despite the fact that the only things to come out of Liverpool are criminals and the god-damn fucking beat-les. It seems to be scouse law that whenever you go outside Liverpool, you must always tell everyone that looks at you that it is the funniest place on earth full of the nicest people. i suspect this is a ploy to get more unsuspecting visitors for mugging. In reality, Liverpool is an absolute shithole, a city that seems to be held together using only grafitti, vomit and stacks of torn rubbish bags with the occasional used nappy thats been ran over in the middle of the road. NOTHING funny EVER came out of Liverpool, except that laughable excuse for music. Sonya, Cilla Black, and yes, you cretins, the Beatles are NOT MUSIC.
And don't get me started on the accent. Scousers do not speak english. they actually speak some strange Klingon dialect from a place where everyone has chronic bronchitis. There are a few that sound like the Fat Controller from Thomas the tank engine, the kind of voice that just drones on and on and on and on until you slit your wrists. And what the fuck is the deal with the bloody Liver bird??? that ridiculous building in the middle of the Ghetto looks more like a bloody Green Chicken Mosque. i've never checked, but i bet every day at midday, they blast "You'll Never Work Again" out of the top of it and every scouser bends down and waves their arse at the rest of the country in rememberance of the fact that Liverpool truly is the sphincter of this planet, and any colonic irrigation should be sent their way as soon as possible. I fucking hate Liverpool and i hope that this little rant has somehow helped me to overcome the years of torture i had to go through constantly going there with my family. I hate it, i hate it, i fucking bloodywell shagging HATE IT!
"Sign on, Sign on,
with your giro in your hand,
and you'll never work again,
Yoooooou'll neeever work again"
A traditional Liverpool song
Liverpool - definition
The pool on which a liver floats.
Ohh yea, thats a liverpool!
Liverpool - slang
A city with a great nightlife, helped greatly by the fact that the (usually aesthetically pleasing) women enjoying which tend to demonstrate a relatively high level of assertiveness, when it comes to initiating kisses and flirtatious actions. Definitely one of the easiest places in which to pull.
Just a shame about the aggressive, mentally-deficient Scallies who inhabit the place.
Fit Scouse bird: "Would you like my tongue down your throat, like?"
Bloke (*overcome with surprise*): "Errrrr"
Fit Scouse bird: "Well tough shit; you're getting it!"
Liverpool
I agree with the other dude, evry1 in Liverpool's naturally nice, evry town has its own scallies, it just so happens Liverpool's have a bit of an accent... they're not all robbing thick low life you know, and they don't all wear lacoste either, Liverpool people are as unique as the city itself. A lovely place to live, proud proud proud...
One of the best modern playwrites Willy Russell wrote many a play originated in Liverpool, Bood Brothers demonstrates the class system and how people are too harsh with assumptions
Liverpool
A highly underated city in England. Rivals with Manchester, the Scousers and Manks naturally hate eachother.
"Manks are gay", anonymous.
"Liverpool is full of homeless people", stupid mank.
Liverpool
Liverpool, the 5th largest populated district in England. The city sits at the mouth of the Mersey estuary and is currently enjoying a resurgence in fortunes.
Now for all those fools who have criticised Liverpool and her people in these definitions, I think its time to address some grievances. I know many of you'll not like what I have to say, but that’s tough S**T. So without any more chatter lets begin...
Accusation: Scousers are all thieves!
Response: Liverpool has a lower crime rate then nearly all the major cities in Britain. Even taking population in to account, some notable cities which have higher crime rates include Manchester and London.
Accusation: Liverpool has no culture!
Response : The city of Liverpool has more listed buildings than anywhere in the Britain, with the exception of Westminster. This is due to the fact that Liverpool had the worlds largest port from the 19th century up until the 20th. This meant Liverpool was alive with travellers from around the world, all bridging their culture with them. Indeed Liverpool has the oldest Chinese community in Europe, dating back 800 years. Not only this but the area surrounding the famous Liver buildings is a unesco world heritage site.
We have numerous art galleries, two amazing cathedrals, not to mention a great musical heritage. Many Scousers are also blessed with the ability to formulate a coherent argument explaining why idiots who insult our city are the quintessence of stupidity. Did I mention we have three universities, The university of Liverpool being responsible for coining the term red brick.
Accusation: Liverpool is a shithole!
Response: Ever since the second world war, when Liverpool was the second most bombed city outside of London (somebody thought we were important), the city had never recovered. Despite being the centre for Atlantic command and the most important port in the Empire, once the war was over we were left to get on with it. The damage to the city was immense and the city did not receive the investment it needed to recover. When coupled with the decline in shipping, the result was many people out of work living in poverty. During a time when you needed money to get ahead, education was not a top priority and standards fell. As time went by, and due to the ignorance of others, little investment made its way into the city and stereotypes began to form. The city went in to serious economic decline.
However there is now renewed optimism and ever increasing investment in to the city, e.g. the £1 billion pound grovesner Paradise project. The city is not a shit hole, but its not perfect, nowhere is. But I would rather live here than London(filled with many rude people).
Conclusion:
Liverpool does have problems, it does have scum, thieves, and idiots but a lot less than some places I can think of. I am not going to criticise other cities because everywhere has its charms. The fact is that Liverpool people are very friendly, we put up with so much criticism that you learn to smile through it. Most Scousers don't hate Manchester by the way, just the idiots that criticise us. We are not racist, but Liverpool FC IS the most successful football club of all time. LOOK IT UP.
Haec otia studia fovent - Liverpool University Motto