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What is grape jam?
Francis W. Parker's Advanced Choral Ensemble, more infamously known as Grape Jam, is an audition-based choir for students with separation anxiety, a superiority complex, and worst of all, Theater Kids. Originated by Barbara "Sunnie" Hikawa and named after her favorite color, this group is known for singing at high profile events, notably the entrance to numerous stores on Michigan Avenue, a random open house for incoming Parker Freshman and Food Fest. Do you know what Food Fest is? Me neither.
Some memorable stars of Grape Jam is Headphones Guy (who sung a bass solo in Dear Evan Hansen's You Will Be Found,) Beatboxing Guy (who played two African American characters in a row during School Musicals,) and up and coming Chicago Artist, Benji the Machine.
They are known for their rigorous audition process, including drinking a glass smoothie, programming perfect pitch into each new member's brains and being forced to watch hours and hours of illegally recorded operas and musicals. They have been in power for over 20 years.
Their native outfits include Purple.
Person 1: Where are you off to?
Person 2: I have Grape Jam practice.
Person 1: *quivering in fear* PLEASE DON'T SING AT ME!
Person 2 begins to sing a constant pitch of G5 in Person 1's ear until their eardrums start melting and bleeding.
grape jam - video
Grape jam - what is it?
when you are stuck in traffic and the cars in front of and behind you are purple
God this highway sucks. This is the worst traffic grape jam ever. I want a sandwich.
What does "grape jam" mean?
The act of giving a senior citizen a swift kick to the groin.
Billy: "Old Man McGreggor almost caught me running through his petunias yesterday."
Jose: "Oh my goodness, what did you do?!"
Billy: "I gave him a little taste of Grandma's Grape Jam, and ran away as fast as I could."