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What is douchebaggery in the 1st degree?
This is the first, and least offensive, degrees on the scale of douchebaggery in which a person can commit. It's observed by the violator's general ignorance to the fact that he/she has even committed such a crime at all. Usually the offense is innocent enough in nature, and independent of any other incident(s); perhaps, even the only such occasion that the individual has performed. The litmus test for 1st-degree douchebaggery can be performed by noticing if the individual is instantly self-aware of the incident, and if they are quick to apologize for it.
Shrek: "Man, Jeff bailed on me last weekend when we were supposed to go kayaking. He said he had accidently double-booked himself, and that we could re-schedule. That's some serious douchebaggery."
Scuff: "Hmmm. No man, normally Jeff is pretty straight-up about things. I think this is just a simple case of douchebaggery in the 1st degree."
Shrek: "I think you're right. How findeth the Court of Public Opinion, Jeff, on the charge of douchebaggery in the 1st degree?"
Bystanders: "GUILTY!!!"
Shrek: "Motion carries. Sentencing tomorrow at noon."
Note: If the Court of Public Opinion has found the defendant to be guilty of a prior charge of 1st-degree douchebaggery, it may very well be possible that the current charge in question escalates to the next-highest level in magnitude; douchebaggery in the 2nd degree. In addition, the prior conviction also gets elevated to this new, and even more egregious level based on principle alone.
douchebaggery in the 1st degree - video
