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What is coffee penus?
When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.
(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep
{ring...ring...ring...}
(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?
(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.
(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***