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What is brandeis university?
A school six miles west of Boston named after the first Jewish Supreme Court Justice, Louis D. Brandeis. The girls there aren't quite so hot, and they did produce Richard Rubin (runner-up of "Beauty and the Geek".) School motto is "truth unto its innermost parts," although the phrase "Bran-Po can suck my nuts" is a close second, followed by "Aramark swallows" as a distant third.
Brandeis is a predominantly Jewish school (hence the monopoly on awkwardness), yet manages to be less financially endowed then the other filthy rich colleges within an 8-mile radius. That just means Brandeis can be just as smart as Harvard and Tufts without the fanciness or pretentious airs the Ivys and Seven Sisters take for granted.
If Wellesley College, is Hogwarts, then Brandeis is the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters--yes, it is populated by mutants, but as you can see, mutants can kick ass and be cool, too.
1: Dude, why can't Usdan be open earlier?
Reff: Hey Brandeis University student, would you like some cheese with that whine?
Non-Jew: Where's this party that everyone goes to on Friday nights?
Jew: It's called services?