Definder - what does the word mean?

What is absorbed?

A person whose instagram and other social media photo galleries are filled with selfies - even including the full body mirror reflection ones. The annoying self absorbed people who chronicalize every mundane detail of their lives by posting selfies.

See exhibit A: Kim Kardashian's instagram/twitter
#selfie-absorbed

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absorbed - meme gif

absorbed meme gif

absorbed - video


Absorbed - what is it?

The act of positioning multiple layers of toilet paper on the water surface in the toilet, creating a cushion in order to prevent the water splashing or 'plopping' when a turd hits the surface, thus avoiding a loud noise being produced. The layers of tissue act as a cushion, absorbing sound energy of the turd . The art of Plop Absorbing is particularly useful when the toilet user wishes to remain anonymous to people outside of the bathroom.

Example 1:

Arnold: "FUCK YOU NICKI! I told you I needed the toilet first!"
Nicki: "Chill your beans fag-bag, I only need a pee ."

Arnold: "You better be only needing a fucking pee!"
*Nicki commences the Plop Absorbing process*

Example 2:
>Chucky is on the toilet, while Arnold is getting ready to go to a party listening to the radio.

>*Arnold turns radio off*
>*Chucky performs the Plop Absorber as the radio will no longer camouflage the noise*

Example 3:
barack ripped the tissue segments with anger and threw them into the toilet. However, his anger had caused him to miss the water and as a result the tissues were stuck on the side of the toilet bowl. Barack had unsuccessfully executed the Plop Absorber.

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What does "absorbed" mean?

For those sassy seniors who have had it with those disturbingly obvious adult diapers.....say hello to Absorbent Thong! Our patented shoestring suction technology consumes every ounce of urine or poop it encounters!

I haven't felt like I was this young and sexy since i was young thanks to absorbent thong...did i leave the oven on?

Dude...check out that sweet ass!
Dude...shes like 70!!
I'd do her!!
Me too!!
Here's to Absorbant Thong!!

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Absorbed - what does it mean?

Used to Nullify all different variants of "ur mom gay" or "no u"

Bob absorbs it into his body, destroying the balance between heaven and hell, opening hell's gates and letting demons loose. Also takes a great toll on Bob's body. Making him paralyzed from his waist down, however, the "ur mom gay" is neutralized.

Bob: ur mom gay
James: no u
Bob: Absorb

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Absorbed - meaning

When a man edges for so long his penis becomes moisturised by all of the pre-cum absorbed into his skin as he strokes.

Man, absorbation makes your shaft soooooooooooo soft!

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Absorbed - definition

someone who leeches off another person.

hey mike stop being an absorber, I dont want to be your spawn.
assjacker sphincter-face and fuckwod

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Absorbed - slang

attract, draw attention by

She was totally absorbed by the busker while wandering on the streets.

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Absorbed

To drain, and possibly soak, power or substance from a person, or liquid.

He just absorbed the water with a towel

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Absorbed

able to absorb or soak up; heat, light, moisture, movement, etc.

"My flow is heavy this month; good thing these tampons are so absorbent!"
OR "Absorbent and yellow and poris is he!
Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants!"

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Absorbed

Intensively engaged; engrossed

I absorbed all my noodles

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