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What is absolute fuck?
A phrase commonly used to describe a terribly organised event.
Josh: Did you go to that curry night Conor organised?
Ciaran: Yeh, it was an absolute fucking shambles!
absolute fuck - video
Absolute fuck - what is it?
The best insult known to man. Used by Dick Beater McFingers
Patrick: Dude, I just hit Tom's grandma with my truck! Shit, bro!..
Tristan: You ABSOLUTE FUCKING WALNUT!!!
What does "absolute fuck" mean?
When "What the fuck?" isnt sufficiently exasperated enough, "What the absolute fuck" is used.
Same as "What the actual fuck?" except more localized in New Zealand.
John: What the absolute fuck is Jim doing?
Dave: I have no idea man
Jim: Hey Mike someone shat in your shower bro
Mike: What the absolute fuck?
John: Man this is badly organized...
Jim: Yeah I have no idea what the absolute fuck is going on.
Absolute fuck - what does it mean?
The term given to fans of Nicki Minaj, similar to "Beliebers" and "Directioners"
Hey look at those absolute fucking retards, they're probably listening to nicki minaj
I feel sorry for them
Absolute fuck - meaning
I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Absolute fuck - definition
The ultimate form of shambles as might be created by an uber-shambles: best demonstrated when minor clerical and administrative duties have to be undertaken by professional staff in the alleged interests of 'saving money' which in fact does no such thing, but can be pointed to by those who equate change with progress, thus claiming credit for the latter.
The essential work of an organisation isn't done because trivial but necessary work is taking up the time which ought to be used to do the job for which professionals are really employed. Objection is met with a simplistic replies such as 'it only takes a moment', "do you regard it as beneath you", or 'any fool could do that'.
Further, any 8 year old could spot this was a particularly stupid way of doing things.
Loo rolls need changing: could a computer analyst do it? Then a computer analyst shall do it! Everyone including the janitors agreed this created an absolute fucking shambles as senior analysts spent time hunting for wherever loo rolls were stored, but the office manager thought it was an ace idea and claimed an end-of year bonus.
Absolute fuck - slang
What someone is when they fuck up in a stupendously amazing fashion or are just incredibly stupid in general. Must be used with the following inflection:
"You're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"
-After Dave finished his explanation why whites and blacks are different species-
"Dave, you're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"
Absolute fuck
An insult that is used if someone is stupider than a fucking dumbass
In what world is a fish a kind of parrot, you absolute fucking walnut
Absolute fuck
When you're in a bad situation where you'll most likely fail or get the negative result.
A great example is when you're near the finish line in Mario Kart while being a tight race and someone uses the blue shell.
"The project's due tomorrow?! Man I am absolutely fucked!"
Absolute fuck
The point where no more fucks can be given.
Dude, I don’t care, I’m at absolute fuck.