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What is Why am I still alive?
Because you matter. I totally understand if you are going through a hard time, I am too! you are not alone. other people in the world need you. it dosen't matter if you are "weird" or "out of the ordinary" you are perfect and fine just the way you are. i believe in you, and you will always have my support no matter whtat you do or who you are, you are perfect just the way you are.
also stop asking urself "why am i still alive" you'll only question it more and... well- who knows what would happen-